Sick Joke time!
Come on, who knows a good one? Points for funniness, bonus points for sickness. I'll get us started...
"I went to see my girlfriend the other day. I walked in and she was lying there, completely naked and covered by only a sheet. I couldn't hold back, so I jumped on top of her and we made passionate love.
The police were furious... I was only supposed to identify the body."
2 rednecks are driving down a gravel road when they see a guy having sex with a goat that had gotten it's head stuck in the fence. The driver says"Don't that look like some fun?" The passenger says "Hell no! That damned barbed wire would scratch my neck all to hell!"
Two hunters went out deer hunting one day. They were out all day,didn't see a single damn deer. They started heading back finally and one of them(Joe Bob) began feeling some stomach trouble. He told the other guy(Darryl) to go ahead and he'd catch him up. Well Darryl doesn't get far before he sees a deer. He shoots the deer, field dresses it and takes it to the truck. He notices Joe Bob isn't back yet and goes looking for him. Darryl finds Joe Bob passed out on one side of a log and the "products" of his stomach on the other. Well Darryl gets an evil idea. He goes back and collects the deer guts, picks Joe Bob up and scoots them under him. Then Darryl goes back to the truck and waits and waits and waits. Finally Joe Bob walks up. He's white,shaking,sweating,looks like hell. Darryl says "you OK?" Joe Bob says " you'll never believe what happened. I shit my guts out but by the grace of God and with the help of the two fingers(holds up first two fingers of left hand) I got them all back in again!"