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QUESTION Is Your Wife Stressed Out (Spoiler Alert: It Might Be You) | HuffPost

It’s called emotional labor, here’s what you can do to help.

“I am the keeper. I am the keeper of schedules. Of practices, games, and lessons. Of projects, parties, and dinners. Of appointments and homework assignments,” she wrote, before diving into a laundry list of chores and responsibilities she takes on for her husband and two sons.

“I am the keeper of emotional security,” wrote the mom, who is based in the Norfolk, Virginia, area. “The repository of comfort, the navigator of bad moods, the holder of secrets and the soother of fears.”

Most of the time, the load is manageable for the former attorney, but other times, it’s too much to bear.

“Sometimes the weight of the things I keep pulls me down below the surface until I am kicking and struggling to break the surface and gasp for breath,” she wrote, before admitting that sometimes, “being the keeper is exhausting. Because you feel like you’re doing it alone.”

(Read the entire essay)

Dougy 7 Feb 9

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Unfortunately it's the unsung song of many women particularly in the south. It reminds me of a story I read about a housewife with 4 kids, all under 8 who usually kept a very clean house and her working husband who insisted she did nothing but sat home all day.

One day day he came home from work to find the 2 youngest who were barely dressed and playing in the mud out in the front yard, tracks in and out the opened front door indicating they had been that way for awhile.

Confused and a little annoyed, he walked into the house. In the living room he could see it looked like a mini tornado blew through. The couch pillows and cushions were everywhere, as was more mud. Toys too. The dining room was the same.

As he stepped into the kitchen he steps on loose cereal that had spilled across most of the floor. One of the older kids was 'trying' to make dinner... peanut butter and cheerios sandwiches. Reminance of various meals were scattered all over the counters, dishes and the like as well.

As he started down the hall to to the bedroom he could hear water running in the bathroom. Starting to worry that something was wrong with the wife, he charged in. More mud, watery as the sink had been stoppered and had overflowed. Toilet paper was everywhere, thrown about like garland and confetti. There was a soggy goopy mess of it on the floors as well.

He finally reached the bedroom. To his amazement, he finds his wife sitting on the bed reading a book, still in nightclothes which was just as unusual as the mess around the house.

He manages to sputter something along the lines of "What the...."

She smiles brightly at him and tells him that since he insisted so often that she did pretty much nothing all day, she finally decided to do just what he accused her of.

Clearly not true. I don't know of a mother who'd do this purposely. It makes a good point though.

AmyLF Level 7 Feb 10, 2018

Wow , that's quite a story . Thanks for sharing !


I can identify with that. I keep things calm between the ex and the kids. It was an eye opener for them to have to deal with him as adults. I was the keeper of schedules, the enforcer of discipline, checker of homework and who got called when all hell broke lose. I lived that life once.

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