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What Are Some Of Your Insecurities About Yourself That You Feel Someone May Not Understand?

My PTSD - Although, its not related to war, it is military related and civilian related. I'm afraid that whomever I meet and fall in love with will not understand why there will be times I want to be alone. (Thus, I go to the gym every day to distress myself after work.)

My weight (which I'm getting back to). I really let myself go for the last 1.5 years. I'm not terribly worried because I will get my body back where I have to, but it's that time between. In 3 months top, but it feels like forever. I've never really had weight issues. Maybe being a tiny bit underweight in the military, but... Arghh!

I'm short. Why didn't my 4'11 mother drink enough milk? Ha! Genetics, I suppose.

I love kids. I'm afraid to fall in love with a man who has kids. Fearing that the mother of his kids will never accept me by making my life a living h-ll to live happily with the man I love and having their kids around us when they visit. I've never made it hard for any of my ex-husband's women.

By SleeplessInTexas
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21 comments

4

I have a feeling this particular post could go for years, yet all say the same thing. We are afraid of not being loved back (now or eventually) and the failure of not living up to everyone else's best physical features. Myself included.

Christal Level 4 Nov 19, 2018
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3

I like the smell of skunk.

And. . . . I fear insignificance more than I fear death

FreethinkerOne Level 4 Nov 19, 2018
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3

I hate how I look ..and can't go out without make up.I was always criticized by my mother growing up..si am very insecure about my looks ..also ...she didnt want a girl ...and dressed me as a boy when I was young .
But i 've survived ...and have 3 fantastic children ..

Jaydee123 Level 5 Nov 18, 2018
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3

I'm short. My voice sounds like a child. I was raised by introverts, so I feel like my extroversion is burden on others. I am terrified of letting down my many of layers of walls to someone who won't appreciate what's inside. Terrified. Not that I'm not good enough (I'm amazing), but that I'll make a bad judgement call and let myself get hurt.

Minta79 Level 7 Nov 18, 2018
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@Minta79, you will ALWAYS BE good enough. I get what you mean, though... I have a bad habit of already rehearsing the dreadful words being said to me, "I'm sorry, you're just not for me." I've already cried over the loss. That way when it happens, it won't hurt so much. I know that's terrible. We will find someone special for us. Stay positive. You will find him. You are beautiful and amazing!

3

I have two very deep seated insecurities - 1 about my unattractiveness and the other about my personal worth, just me who I am and if I will ever be truly seen, understood, accepted by another as I am. Without the constant (so it seems in past relationships) criticisms, editing, censoring, condemnation, nitpicking.

Seeker3CO Level 7 Nov 18, 2018
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@Seeker3CO you are beautiful to me.

@Seeker3CO and you are PRICELESS! Your personal worth is more than any treasured painting in the world. You are a masterpiece! I am mesmerised.

@SleeplessInTexas that will never get old! Can't wait to meet you for reals.

3

I'm afraid to say.

rogueflyer Level 7 Nov 18, 2018
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2

We all have our insecurities some we can't do anything about and others we can.

Looking4-Others Level 8 Nov 18, 2018
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2

problems are what you make them really. people who really care don't give a toss about your size or Hight. its just the trials of life.

LeighShelton Level 8 Nov 18, 2018
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2

I too share your fear of falling for some one that has children. What happens if I grow close to them and the relationship ends?
I am kinda weird about my weight. I was a wrestler in school. I wrestled at 160lbs and spent many mornings before weigh in with a rubber suit running the halls of a hotel trying to make weight. When I start feeling heavy it pisses me off even 40 years later.

Stevil Level 8 Nov 18, 2018
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2

What the hay, I'll just throw this out there for whoever. I felt some commonality or something:

My Pectus Excavadum: I get strange looks sometimes when I take off my shirt, or even when wearing a t-shirt. It's the worst when people say, "Oh, you have a hole in your chest." or when kids say, "that man's got boobs". I work out, so I have some pecs, but I don't know if that causes my chest dent to look deeper. I'm bashful by nature, and overcoming this has never been easy. My ex thought it was cute, and she could never understand I'd get weirded out every time she put her hands or fingers there.

My Mildly bow legs and flat feet: It doesn't help with the insecurity thing. Drill Sergeants and the occasional coworker give me crap about my bow legs. It's a real pain to motivate myself to run when they act-up. Still, I persist and overcome. I'm in good shape and tall 6'2" It is a great height for reaching places, and horrible for squeezing into tight places... although, I am quite flexible and have been known to squeeze into moving boxes that look too small for my stature.

My kid's mother and I do not want anything to do with each other. There would be zero you would have to do as a step-mother with her. All our communication is via messaging. I never want to hear that woman's voice again, and I haven't had to for 3 years now. I know her feelings are mutual. That probably sounds harsh, but it has worked out well. I can tell my ex got some help with her own mental health, and is still going. I sought help as well, and am doing just fine without it now.

BTW, my kid is probably one of the sweetest kids you'd ever meet.

I think that is about as much as I can reveal for now without getting too private.

F-IM-Forty Level 5 Nov 18, 2018
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I just realized I'm screwed... Faux man boobs by mild genetic defect, and long hair... F-it. I'm sure this comment looks like some poor closeted trans trying to excuse her/his vague physical sex characteristics. I am slight heterosexual misfit. Their ain't nothin vague about about me when you see me. All I can do is laugh at it now. 😂

2

Too numerous to list.

ProudMary Level 8 Nov 18, 2018
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Aw, no fair... come on, have a go! smile009.gif

@PalacinkyPDX Okay. When my husband died last year, I reverted to my 11-year-old self and the abandonment issues I suffered from when my father died. It turns me into a clingy little whiny bitch and I hate it.

@ProudMary Thank you Mary! smile001.gif

@PalacinkyPDX You're quite welcome. I've tried to lock the little hussy in a cage but she keeps getting out and fucking with my life.

1

Aging and what it brings and may still bring

1000runner Level 3 Nov 24, 2018
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1

My tendency to be hypersensitive withdrawn at times. I am often misunderstood

StormOfDoves Level 3 Nov 19, 2018
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Likewise

1

I'm very insecure about my looks and how people just don't see me. I don't think I look like a goblin but I'm not getting any second glances either. My current relationship isn't the best so I often think about leaving him but I don't want to be alone. I guess I'm worried that my looks or lack thereof, will keep me from moving on and that I'll be lonely, so Im staying put for now.

bunylove7 Level 3 Nov 19, 2018
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Poor excuse to stay in a relationship you're not happy with.

@SleeplessInTexas yeah I know.

1

My height. Although it might be accurate to say we live in a man's world, I believe it's more accurate to say we live in a tall man's world. There are so many unspoken entitlements that tall men experience. And there's so many accomplishments that shorter men do not get credit for.

absaluteviktory5 Level 5 Nov 19, 2018
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1

[Wheels in the 'Insecurities' filing cabinet]
Okay... Body: I'm too tall, nose too big, shoulders too wide, legs not attractive, hideous feet, wish my face were cuter (or just cute, period), hate the two gaps in my teeth (made by an orthodontist 50 years ago).

General: I'm very insecure when compared to non-trans women... a lot of feelings of inferiority. Couldn't bear children. Often feel as if I'm a lousy mom to my daughter (it comes and goes), often afraid I've eff'd up my kid, kind of a negative person, often feel unlovable. smile003.gif

Accomplishments (or non-accomplishments): I'm sort of okay doing many different things, but realistically mediocre when it comes to any one of them. Never really put in enough effort to be successful at any one pursuit. Too damn lazy when it comes down to it. Wish I were a better/more consistent friend/sister.

That's enough for now, in this environment. [wheels out 'insecurities' filing cabinet]

PalacinkyPDX Level 7 Nov 18, 2018
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1

My weight... and, oddly, I just checked and I am at an ok weight. I DO want to lose some more. Why? My back hurts when my weight is up and, I am in some pain I associate with being up in weight. For the record, I've never stressed how much I weigh, but how I feel at whatever weight and what I can do at same. Ie: if I am not able to do 2-3 flights of stairs without being winded, I am worried! If I can do that and feel comfortable, I am fine (no matter the weight). So, being in reasonable shape is more important to me.

Emotional hangup is the feeling that I can't, or won't, find someone to be in my life. I haven't given up, yet, not truly, but I have stopped actively looking. Why? Seems like every time I make a connection, something goes wrong and that 'wrong' has been all over the map (some are mistakes I made, some were mistakes on their side, most were just no real connection).

Work. This could be related to a bunch of things but I can't seem to get my shit together at work so that I am performing at what I'd consider to be 'speed.' That said, I have a great team here, with very good support and I think I may well be able to turn this around. Right now, though, it's one day at a time. A bit more on that: I teach and my greatest flaw is classroom control. I just don't have the 'command voice' save it high stress situations. I am too soft on my kids and they roll over me. :/

You did ask? smile001.gif

Gnarloc Level 7 Nov 18, 2018
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1

Everyone has issues. Unless you’re constantly making poor life choices just to appease your insecurities, most people will understand.

PaigeM Level 5 Nov 18, 2018
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0

Pretty much everything that isn't my intelligence, wit, or humor.

maturin1919 Level 7 Nov 30, 2018
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0

My introvert nature. My health-problems.

MLinoge Level 5 Nov 30, 2018
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