My introvert nature. My health-problems.

Aging and what it brings and may still bring

I'm very insecure about my looks and how people just don't see me. I don't think I look like a goblin but I'm not getting any second glances either. My current relationship isn't the best so I often think about leaving him but I don't want to be alone. I guess I'm worried that my looks or lack thereof, will keep me from moving on and that I'll be lonely, so Im staying put for now.

I like the smell of skunk.

And. . . . I fear insignificance more than I fear death

My height. Although it might be accurate to say we live in a man's world, I believe it's more accurate to say we live in a tall man's world. There are so many unspoken entitlements that tall men experience. And there's so many accomplishments that shorter men do not get credit for.

I have a feeling this particular post could go for years, yet all say the same thing. We are afraid of not being loved back (now or eventually) and the failure of not living up to everyone else's best physical features. Myself included.

My weight... and, oddly, I just checked and I am at an ok weight. I DO want to lose some more. Why? My back hurts when my weight is up and, I am in some pain I associate with being up in weight. For the record, I've never stressed how much I weigh, but how I feel at whatever weight and what I can do at same. Ie: if I am not able to do 2-3 flights of stairs without being winded, I am worried! If I can do that and feel comfortable, I am fine (no matter the weight). So, being in reasonable shape is more important to me.

Emotional hangup is the feeling that I can't, or won't, find someone to be in my life. I haven't given up, yet, not truly, but I have stopped actively looking. Why? Seems like every time I make a connection, something goes wrong and that 'wrong' has been all over the map (some are mistakes I made, some were mistakes on their side, most were just no real connection).

Work. This could be related to a bunch of things but I can't seem to get my shit together at work so that I am performing at what I'd consider to be 'speed.' That said, I have a great team here, with very good support and I think I may well be able to turn this around. Right now, though, it's one day at a time. A bit more on that: I teach and my greatest flaw is classroom control. I just don't have the 'command voice' save it high stress situations. I am too soft on my kids and they roll over me. :/

You did ask?

I hate how I look ..and can't go out without make up.I was always criticized by my mother growing up..si am very insecure about my looks ..also ...she didnt want a girl ...and dressed me as a boy when I was young .
But i 've survived ...and have 3 fantastic children ..

problems are what you make them really. people who really care don't give a toss about your size or Hight. its just the trials of life.

I'm short. My voice sounds like a child. I was raised by introverts, so I feel like my extroversion is burden on others. I am terrified of letting down my many of layers of walls to someone who won't appreciate what's inside. Terrified. Not that I'm not good enough (I'm amazing), but that I'll make a bad judgement call and let myself get hurt.

I'm afraid to say.