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Oh man, sometimes I forget how awkward I am. I'm at a singles event for Valentine's Day, and I'm completely tongue-tied. Does anybody else freeze up like this? How do you fight it?

Nebroxah 6 Feb 13
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0

Used to suffer this to the point I no longer liked myself, That was the key to all,
As a corporate manager I still had the moments of freezing before speaking All of it came down to knowing what I wanted and that was me. IT is so difficult to overcome but once you do it was so easy to do. Trust in you. Believe in you and present the you that you know and enjoy much. We all bear items we are not pleased with but these things do not define us.

EMC2 Level 8 Feb 14, 2018
1

Used to suffer this to the point I no longer liked myself, That was the key to all,
As a corporate manager I still had the moments of freezing before speaking All of it came down to knowing what I wanted and that was me. IT is so difficult to overcome but once you do it was so easy to do. Trust in you. Believe in you and present the you that you know and enjoy much. We all bear items we are not pleased with but these things do not define us.

EMC2 Level 8 Feb 14, 2018
0

Don't go

I think he was already there -- posting on Agnostic.com. 🙂

@BlueWave for next time

3

compliment them on their shoes. I hear that works.

3

Have a couple of drinks. Works for me!

Drinks are definitely the key!

@icolan I don't but I would make an exception.

@sandyw1952 Hey, do you fancy a drink, 😉 LOL

3

Ask them questions and let them do most of the talking. Also look for clues on their belongings and clothing as to things you may have similar interests in (like a shirt with an image from a show you like).

2

Easy.

People like to talk about themselves, so when you see women you find attractive, ask them questions, then listen to their replies, making encouraging comments.
If they wind down, ask another question, or make a brief comment, such as "That must have been exciting for you!"

If someone you like shows interest by smiling at you and laughing at your jokes, try asking her if she would like to go get coffee with you sometime, and if she seems OK with it, ask for her number.
But you have to close the deal with a date, or you will have wasted your opportunity..giving a more confident man a chance to swoop in and charm her away.

1

Pretty often suffer the same. Find it really difficult to start a conversation.

My problem is just the opposite. I chatter like an irritated baboon and can't stop.

@Dick_Martin People are easy if you know what floats their boat. I.e., I couldn't resist my beautiful, married Thai boss when she offered to show me where certain rare hornbills were nesting, near Krabi, Thailand. I knew she was hitting on me, but I didn't care. She had me at "nesting hornbills" but I didn't let anything physical happen. Nevertheless I had a wonderful several hours hiking through a jungle, seeing blue jungle pools and rare birds, laughing and talking with her. Too bad most men don't use those kinds of tactics on women. Easier for most to talk about topics they themselves like

@birdingnut Nesting hornbills, eh? Sounds like British sailors to me. But hey, if it works, I say go for it.

@Dick_Martin LOL! That line would only work on someone like me but I had to give her snaps for figuring out what I couldn't resist and using it as bait.

Before I discovered the Thai herb derris scandens, and blended my gender personalities, I was gender fluid, moving back and forth between male and female perspectives. I have to admit my male side was a smooth operator, even though I'm demisexual, so feel no lust.

He'd listen to and remember what women said, what they wore, what they liked, and used it to his advantage, noticing and admiring their clothing, handbags, and conversing on their favorite topics until women were fighting over him.

This usually woke my weaker female side; horrified, she'd hurry to get rid of the giggling girls before my male side could start buying them drinks and wasting her hard-earned money on them.

It's a relief not have to to deal with switching back and forth between genders anymore, and I can live as a blended person.

Unfortunately, my blended self is somewhat neutral..I admire both genders but usually do nothing to either chase or respond to them.

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