Yes rather long, emotional at times, and not fun to try to do here. But I know what it feels like the separation, but I also know that some of their expectations are not mine. So we have never agreed much. I have tried to get along, but then a few times they just push me a little farther than I am willing to give. More emotionally fulfilling to do good things that make you and others happy and don't let it rule you. Obviously you give up part of yourself in the relationships and sometimes it is just better to keep distance both emotionally and geologically. If you want a friendly ear sometimes, message me private

Yes.

And I'm sorry you have to go through this.

You are not alone. It's not you, it's them. I promise.

I was partly neglected and partly emotionally (and sometimes physically) abused for: having a fiercely independent streak, being highly intellectual and unable to tolerate their ignorance, unable to keep my trap shut whenever they were being unjust, not playing by the dysfunctional family rules, turning away from religion and most recently for coming out as polyamorous.

Part of my self-care is keeping them at arm's length. The minute they act crappy, I make sure to stay away from that family member. Usually it's my mother, but sometimes it's my sister.

I read lots of self-help books, btw. My favorite that is of most use about being neglected is Jasmin Lee Cori's The Emotionally Absent Mother: How to Recognize and Heal the Invisible Effects of Childhood Emotional Neglect.

Also, I do a lot of art journaling. It's been a beautiful way to give myself the mothering I needed. I incorporate lots of loving positive messages to counteract the internalized negative messages from my family. Art heals. It really, really does.

I am my mother's second born, but my parents raised me as the first born. 13 years later they had their son. My mother was contacted by her first daughter's adopted sister (the first child was adopted out in a different state). As I grew older, I got sick and tired of being compared to my best friends and the child she never knew that I blew up verbally at my mother. After my father (who was always on my side) passed away, She acted as if I was only there to make her feel like a great mother. She was verbally, physically and emotionally abusive. Because I decided to cut ties, and get away from her, for my sanity, she has basically disowned me. I'm the most successful of her three children, yet I am considered the black sheep of the family. I relish this title, and I really could care less if I ever see her again.

I see all these comments about lack of interest from parents and siblings . It works both ways . There are also parents , who did the best they could , but are either mistreated or simply ignored by their grown children .

We must have the same mother. Mine mine is just like yours. I could put your post and mark it mine that is how alike they are. My mom has just about destroyed any feelings I have for her.you must ignore, avoid and realize you are a person. Do not take it. I act like I have none. Good Luck, Betty

I am. But I thought I was on the side of right. I am not sorry I should have said more. My mother can be a very stupid, bull headed, extremely difficult person to deal with. She always wants to be the winner. Time I put a stop to our agony so I did. I am not sorry.

I don't really understand close families. Neither of my parents very large families speak or get together - even for weddings or funerals. I can honestly say I have first cousins I have never met. Not because of any paticular reason that I am aware of... it just didn't seem important to anyone.
My parents and siblings are spead all over the U.S. so we havent been all in one place for probably 15 years or so. I rarely speak to my brother who only lives about half an hour away - we might speak once a year at most or not. Unless it is family news - mostly if someone is dieing or could be.
I guess what I am saying is we are not officially not speaking we just normally don't.

I'm an outcast and proud of it. It just means that you aren't afraid to think your own thoughts and have your own opinions. Don't let the sheep herd you into the flock. Climb that mountain like a goat and breath the fresh air. If that just seems like I'm sending you to another flock, keep in mind that I'm over 55 and planning a hitch hiking trip across country. No one follows me.

Hypocrisy runs rampant in society - no matter what your beliefs. We can't choose our family members, but we can choose who we consider family. Surround yourself with good, positive folks, and be content in the fact that you have solid peeps who care about you and will have your back. Letting go can be the most difficult thing to do, but when you are able to do it... It's a huge weight off of you. Be well.

Sure. I was the one who left the family behind in the midwest and am now in Oregon. I was the nerdy one who got good grades, played in the band. By age 6, didn't buy there was a god up in the sky who was watching my every move. Am the only one who is atheist. The rest back there are Christian, pretty racist, homophobic, narrow minded. I will give my parents credit in that they told me I needed to leave when I graduated from high school. There were no good jobs, so go to college, or go to military and learn a skill.

I'm an outcast because I've almost completely removed my self from them. I find them overwhelming. I prefer to spend time with the people that I have invited into my life.

Wow so have you ever confronted your parents about how they treat you and your older, sister? ?

I've been disowned by the vast majority of my family. Older sister hasn't talked to me in years, younger cousin only talks to me when she wants something. I get the yearly invite for christmas dinner from my mother and was publicly called a piece of shit on facebook by my ex-step-father when they got divorced claiming it was my fault that I ruined their marriage. Occasionally get a friend request on FB from an extended family member long enough for them to tell me I'm going to hell and I need to repent then blocked. Biological father chats with me every now and then but he's pretty much been out of my life since I was a year old. I understand being emotionally numb and not being normal in society because I'm the same way.