Hi Sherry. No I’m not going to post the link to the thread that triggered me. And, the truth is, there has been more than one incident that has caused me to think “why isn’t anybody saying anything to this asshole?” The last one sent me over the edge and many responses have me wondering if I am just hypersensitive. I will have to think about that on my long ride to work.

Yes, there is one in particular that finally sparked my reaction. However, I don’t want that one thread scrutinized and everybody to throw their opinion in on that one thread or on the two people involved—the bully and the target.

I really just wanted to know if there’s anybody else out there who even sees or cares when somebody is just being mean-spirited for no other fucking reason than to be a dick.

@BlueWave I care, and have felt like a target. It's one reason I don't block, so that I can see if/when that member does it again, and defend or report.

@BlueWave it may be that I have blocked the person who is doing the bullying and haven’t seen it. I have blocked a couple of people who are annoying

@bingst, that's such a positive way to handle an ugly and hurtful situation - although I'm sorry you've been a target.

I’m starting to think, as I read these responses from oldest to newest, that I might just be more sensitive than most people.

Perhaps the answer for me is to just let everybody fend for themselves and move along to another place on the Internet if they can’t stand the assholes, and I will just block the dickheads.

@BlueWave Blue, there's nothing wrong with being "sensitive." It is all of our jobs to fight injustice. Sometimes it is marching in the streets or calling a congress person. Sometimes it is pointing out a comment on here. If the attacker feels maligned, he or she can defend themselves.

I am not looking for advice. I am looking for the experiences of others and how they have reacted when they see behavior that is bullying but does not rise to the level of flaggable abuse.

@BlueWave All a matter of interpretation, no? What is bullying to you may not be to another. Some do rant....if it's directed at someone then perhaps. Some on here have some rather strong opinions. A few are my way or the highway. We are all so very different. I like that challenge.

Wow, that's really disheartening. I had no idea

That is not a pleasant experience and I'm very surprised. Most members are very kind and considerate and that is what has made this site so very appealing to me. So sorry this happened to you and I hope you won't give up on all of us.

I figure that if someone thinks your posts are stupid or worthless, why do they bother even commenting? These people are the reason that otherwise kind and caring and sensitive people become callous and jaded. I, for one, tend to find resonance in the things of yours that I have read.

@Meep70 ty

Your last line reminds me of something a woman I worked with used to say when she was the recipient of unwanted male attention such as the "shoulder massage." She would say "keep your dick beaters off me!"

LOL!! I like that.

@PappyOnWings
That's hilarious! I've heard that term before!

That would at least be helpful. What I am talking about, in my opinion, rises above being snarky. It might fit somewhere along being in a pissed off mood and hating the world and making other people pay for it by being an asshole.

To reiterate, the person did not call the writer a name and was not lewd, threatening or do other things that rise to instant flag status. It was more of just being mean and treating someone very poorly because they could.

@BlueWave Sounds like you're describing trolling. Some people just love to wind up others.

@BlueWave Well said!

@bingst Nope. Not what I perceive as trolling. Just being snide, rude, mean-spirited, dismissive and an all-around asshole.

Good morning! The only thing I could do is give hypotheticals, otherwise I might as well post a link to the thread that triggered me. This was more along the lines of getting their ass handed them to on a platter but not for any dubious claim, just for merely stating a suggestion or an opinion, having nothing to do with facts or evidence. It also was not at all related to religion.

Nope.

I didn't want people's opinions and judgments and analysis on one particular thread.

I wanted to know if you or they came across comments that sounded like what I described.

And, if you or they did, I wanted to know how and why you or they chose the action or inaction they chose.

If you have not seen any posts which you find ugly, dismissive, mean-spirited, overly snide, or anywhere on the spectrum of bullying, then it seems reasonable that you would not have an opinion.

As you can see, if you read back through the comments and replies, with the thoughtful input of another member, I think I have determined that I am very sensitive to people being pounced on by somebody who is "more experienced, or older, or younger, or wiser, or more educated, or whatever the case may be" when the motive clearly is to dismiss or belittle the person. So, I'm a big ol' mushball and I'll get over it. [And use the block button for the assholes a bit more.]

@BlueWave you had me at nope.

@BenPike I didn't want to be too wordy about it because I had explained why I wasn't posting the thread about ten times already. I wasn't intending to be rude, Ben. Just short and sweet -- but I guess the sweet part didn't convey properly. I'm sorry.

@BlueWave obviously a lot is lost in text. I think you had sort of explained yourself earlier in this conversation, so a simple nope would have told me a lot. Plus there's a smiley face. Plus I like the jokingly defiant tone I imagined the nope pronounced in. ( To end a sentence in a preposition. Yikes!)

I appreciate your thoughtful post, Gert. I'm glad you did not leave.

For clarification only, the thread that pushed me over the edge when it comes to being snide, dismissive, mean-spirited and rude WITHOUT a reason to treat somebody that way, did NOT involve a new member.

And, the target was not meek and timid in return. Regardless of how the target handled it, the aggressor owns the fact that they treated another valuable human being like a piece of worthless dirt for no good reason. In my opinion.

You just go to Browse, Members, Newest to see new member page.

@BlueWave Well, I have the same. If someone is unfriendly, unreasonable, insulting or even posting without reading the post he/she is replying to, drives me to a decent unfriendliness. Someone can misunderstand so if he/she stays showing that he doesn't read or doesn't want to understand, I tell him/her that I will block him/her. Send the same in a message and one day later I will block. If it's a misunderstanding than it will show soon enough.

@DelilahJones33 I learned to know where to find them, so, that's not the issue. It it would be convenient though as well for the old as the new that there is a homepage where you can find all the recent information and links to the new members in the easiest way.

Not possible.

No. In my opinion, you are not.

Almost all people who can see this don’t behave this way. Otherwise I would have blocked you already and you would not be able to see it.

I typically might say something in response and often just block people. But re the last couple of incidents I saw it bothered me that nobody even seemed to notice.

And it goes without saying that I am not at all and could not possibly be addressing posts that people have not seen. If you have not seen it, you have not seen it, and therefore you would have no reason to have an experience about it.

The other day, apparently on someone’s first post, a couple of people were talking about ghosts. I had to tell them that there is no evidence for ghosts and that is equivalent to a belief in deities. I probably got blocked for that one lmao @BlueWave

Yeah, right? I admit to being sarcastic and mayhaps snarky. I always HOPE people know I'm not serious, but I can't be sure that my meaning comes across.

@NothinnXpreVails Not by me. I agree with your OPINION.

IF I disagreed with you, which I don't, I think it's one thing to say "I don't agree with you, but that's okay for both of us"

It is quite another for somebody to say "Well, you haven't seen a ghost and until you have seen a ghost, what you have to say really doesn't matter, now does it, Sparky?"

Lol @BlueWave

Your profile photo is scary! LOL There is just something that bothers me about it, but I respect that it is your expression and move along,

I think, after much thought, it probably doesn't land square on "bullying." There wasn't name calling. There wasn't lewdness or threats. It was just rude, snide, mean-spirited and dismissive.

@BlueWave I believe what you describe is indeed bullying. I think you did the right thing and also did the right thing in bringing it to our attention.

@phil21 Thanks, Phil. I appreciate your saying so.

@BlueWave Power to the People. Peace and Love to everyone in the World. And you are most welcome.

I thought I was pretty clear about what I usually do. I wanted to know what others see and how they feel and why they react the way they do.

I do not agree with the notion that all people feel offended when somebody stands up and says “hey, that’s not cool. I think what Robert said was valuable.”

There’s a big difference between saying something like that and saying “hey, stop being mean to my friend, you asshole!”

I also don’t think snark is the answer or is appropriate sometimes.

@BlueWave Snark as a response to ignorance, or deliberate discourtesy, is the Only answer, other than silence

@AnneWimsey I think you forgot "In my opinion," Anne.

@BlueWave No, I did not...the essence of snark, lol!