Morals and ethics
If a family member commits fraud and steals money from family, decimating our future.
Do you warn others about doing business with him?
Do you tell others or keep it in the family?
2
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6 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.Well, exposing fraud is the only way to combat it and the fact that it's coming from a family member is morally irrelevant. In fact if a family member exposes it, it's more morally powerful and credible.
On the other hand you better have your facts straight because it's also irrelevant to whether your relative will sue you for libel / slander / whatever.
mordant
Level 8
Jan 3, 2019
1
Yes, facts and figures are all I have. I've held off because our mother said she would lie to protect him and did not wish to jeopardise her relationship with her grandchildren.
She was also secratary for most of his project.
I thought a please explain letter to mutual friends. Scocial shaming works on egos his size because that's his stage.
Well I wouldn't take an ad out in the local paper but if he is an accountant or financial advisor or tradesperson then I would certainly be warning friends and neighbours about him. If he does that to family, what would he do to acquaintances and strangers. We certainly can't pick our relatives. Just remember we ALL have dodgy family members.
MsDemeanour
Level 8
Jan 3, 2019
1
Yeah he's an architect. He's already ripped off some real estate developers, to the tune of 1 million, I did some IT work for them, that's how I found out the extent.
All people must earn trust although we seem to immediately confer it on family. They have broken the family trust. If you mean by "others" a close friend of yours for instance, of course you warn them. Some people don't want to bring shame on the family, i.e, the fact that one of them is a fraud, so keeping it in the family won't spread the fact (unless it's your friend about to be swindled).
lerlo
Level 8
Jan 2, 2019
1
Actually shame is the only thing that works on someone who so completely denies the link between their actions and as long as their expectations are met they don't care in the least how others are effected or the ripple effect it has on the rest of the family trying to defend the indefensible.
That is SO complicated. I would say, use your judgment about who NEEDS so know, and discreetly let them know if you can.
A2Jennifer
Level 8
Jan 1, 2019
1
Most of the family knows. I can't pretend he is anything but an arsehole.
Those that ask , I tell. He can't work here ,they are all wise to him.
@Emile family tends to know someone’s character even if not specific acts
Warn family. You may loose your errant family number, that may be your safest option, and knows he might get help from family pressure.
t1nick
Level 8
Jan 1, 2019
0
You need to warn others but don't need to take out a front page in the local paper.
Jolanta
Level 9
Jan 1, 2019
3
omg I see that I wrote basically the same as you Jolanta!! lol
I warn everyone who asks me about him, I even tell them what he did.
They can't connect with what I say and him because he is all image.
@MsDemeanour Great minds think alike.
@MsDemeanour, @Emile Yes some people are very likeable so it is hard for others to understand and they think that it is you who are the problem, but they will find out the hard way.
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