The girl I was mentoring quit. I feel sad.
The homeless girl I was mentoring this year quit last week. Jessica kept canceling our weekly meetings at the last minute. This is the first time in 12 years that a student I mentored quit.
"How does your weekend look?" I replied. "Let's meet at the public library in the morning, Saturday or Sunday." She agreed.
Jessica believes she has to do everything herself. She resist help.
Jessica's mother abandoned her at age 14 and cut her off. Her mother in California refuses to return Jessica's texts and calls. "It still hurts," Jessica said.
So far, I helped Jessica apply to four colleges and eight scholarships. She already won over $8,000, including the Federal Applicaton for Student Aid (FAFSA).
"All of the mentors have had flaky students quit," my friend Billie said. Billy was a mentor in the past. "You have had a spectacular run." (12 years)
I feel sad. Perhaps I pushed Jessica too hard.
The College Mentor Program coordinator, Andrea, said she doesn't want to lose me.
"I will look at my student roster and find you another student for this year," Andrea said. "Jessica admitted she did not prioritize your time together. She is over-committed. It's not your fault."
I sent Jessica an email, offering to help her with difficult essays. I hope she continues applying for scholarships. I usually help students apply for 30-40 scholarships. It's a number game. The more you apply, the more you win.
"You have given Jessica a great start," Andrea said.
After talking it over with Billie, Andrea and a teacher, I feel better.
As a volunteer, in May 2018 I won the first Scholarship Rockstar Award from the Wenatchee School District College Mentor Program. I'm second from the left in the photo with other volunteer college mentors who won awards.
In June 2018, I hiked Icicle Gorge with three young women I previously mentored.
In this video, I'm in the school library working with Teresa, a student I previously mentored (1.30 minutes.)
17
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12 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.We appreciate the efforts of people, like yourself who selflessly give of themselves for those who are less fortunate. The world is a little brighter due to your hard work, thank you.
fearlas
Level 6
Jan 7, 2019
1
Thank you so much.
Can’t tell you how much I appreciate people like you giving time to our children. It’s really unfortunate she didn’t realize the golden opportunity she had in you.
Green_eyes
Level 8
Jan 6, 2019
1
Thank you, dear.
It is wonderful that you do this, and yes, you can't have everyone work out. It just doesn't.
One nit that angered me: Your friend Billy referring to Jessica as flaky. I don't need to say more.
Mitch07102
Level 8
Jan 6, 2019
0
Flaky (Urban dictionary)
"An unreliable person. A procrastinator. A careless or lazy person. Dishonest and doesn't keep to their word. They'll tell you they're going to do one thing, and never do it. They'll tell you that they'll meet you somewhere, and show up an hour late or don't show up at all."
"A lot of high school students are flaky," my ex-husband who taught high school said. "I threw promising students off the tennis team because of their irresponsible behavior. It riled their parents. Years later, the students thanked me.'
Billie is also a retired teacher. In 2005, Billie quit mentoring because for three years in a row, her mentees repeatedly did not show up for scheduled meetings This is flaky behavior.
So, Billie recruited me to replace her as a volunteer college mentor at the high school in 2006. I have been a volunteer mentor ever since.
It thrills me to send these kids to college. All are low income, first generation students.
Don't give up on her.......
Lop-Eared-Mule
Level 7
Jan 6, 2019
1
No hard feelings. I offered to help Jessica with difficult essays for scholarship applications when she needs it.
With chronic anemia, Jessica is badly over-committed. Jessica is the president of the Associated Student Body. Jessica chairs students government meetings and attends school board meetings. She works two part time jobs and volunteers, in addition of high school classes.
To top it off, Jessica just joined the competitive beauty pageant (eye roll) for the Washington State Blossom Festival held in Wenatchee. Vying to be Apple Blossom queen or princess, riding on a float in the Grand Parade. Representing Wenatchee and riding the float in other festivals across WA State. (Tulip Festival, Lilac Festival, Strawberry Festival, etc.)
"When my daughter Alexa turned out for Apple Blossom queen, the stress and huge time commitment nearly killed her," my friend Kriss said. "The girls were extremely catty, talking about boys, sex and drugs. Alexa couldn't relate to them."
Alexa was over-committed, too. She took her horse to the national competition, was a cheerleader, did volunteer projects and much more.
@LiterateHiker Of course not. I understand the proper meaning of the word, but in common usage, it comes across as harsh.
Keep up the good work.
Wow you're doing great work. Even though this feels like a failure, many of the things you told her will be in her memory, and will come through when she needs it. She's not in a place where she feels she can progress on this path just yet. But, your words, your actions, and your attitude towards her have not been wasted.
Thank you for doing what you do. People like you give me hope for the future of our species.
Mofferatu
Level 7
Jan 6, 2019
1
Your story touched me. I think what you do is admirable. Education is the most important thing for anybody..I never applied myself enough when I was in school, at the time I thought I knew better. I'm still paying for my mistake way back then. Even though Jessica quit the mentor program I'll bet that she will always remember what you did for her.
19dacar52
Level 7
Jan 6, 2019
2
I went back to school at 62 know 64 and will hopefully got to 4 year school in the fall was supposed to gone this spring but was not aware of a problem and they just don't care.Will changed major and going another semester.
benhmiller
Level 7
Jan 6, 2019
1
I used to volunteer for my son's AVID program. I miss it. I know how you feel.
I get attached to kids. It's hard seeing them go.
You're an awesome human being. Keep doing what you do!
SleeplessInTexas
Level 8
Jan 6, 2019
2
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