LINK Florida Woman Put Her Dad with Alzheimer’s on a One-Way Flight to Denver | The Hearty Soul
But you should have kids so someone will take care of you when you’re old.....
2
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.When I'm not able to take care of myself and recognize loved ones, then it's time to pull the plug. I don't want to exist like that. Period.
mykhael
Level 6
Jan 13, 2019
3
I agree. Quality of life is the important factor.
This will become more and more common as the Boomers come down with dementia. I am lucky that my wife had plenty of income and money to pay for her care so I didn't have to do much for her at home in the early stages, then moving to assisted living with me in the late middle stage. The article didn't provide details about the old guy and his daughter's experience with him so I am reluctant to judge. I did know caregivers who were practically hostages in their own homes trying to care for relatives who needed to be in care facilities because of the level of their needs, but weren't due to lack of money or refusal to place them in one. The tragedy is that in these cases dementia destroys at least two or more lives most of the time.
I never had kids and neither did my late wife, so unless I meet someone with kids, I will be on my own when I get old and sick. If my health fails years from now (more likely from something other than dementia), I will take my life rather than live in misery or as a burden to someone if my quality of life is poor. I fear that way more than death.
TomMcGiverin
Level 8
Jan 13, 2019
3
My stepdaughter has specifically said she does not want to take care of her mother in her dotage. Got right out in front of it. At least we know where we stand.
mordant
Level 8
Jan 12, 2019
1
Better now than later when there's little or no time to make other plans.
@TomMcGiverin The irony is neither of us wants our children wiping spittle off our faces, we will end our lives in our own way with some dignity if we have anything to say about it. That said ... sometimes there's a car accident or stroke or something and it'd be nice to know someone had our back, especially someone whose back WE had for a couple of decades and some change. But the world I grew up in, and its implied social contracts, seem to be stillborn with both my children and my wife's, and based on others I've talked to, this isn't uncommon.
Our children have generally expected things from us and assumed they could treat us in ways that never would have even occurred in passing to my wife or I when we were young. For example it my lowest ebb of young adulthood when I was living off moldy applesauce to make ends meet, it never for a hot second crossed my mind to hit my parents up to bail me out, and if they had been well off, that wouldn't have changed the picture for me (in fact my wife's parents were wealthy and she never took $$ from them). My daughter didn't live a very charmed or privileged life relative to me, but even though she turns 40 this year and earns a nurse's salary and no one held a gun to her head insisting she had to have FOUR kids or marry guys who earn negligible income, she's always dropping hints that she could sure use some $$. I don't pander to it, but it limits our relationship. And that's just one example.
While we're surely not the first (or last!) generation that thinks everything has inexplicably turned to shit since their salad days, there seems to be something particularly worrisome about the prevalence of stories like this. Combine it with the Trumpocalypse and it's enough to keep you up nights if you let it.
@mordant I'm sorry things have turned out so disappointing with your children. I chose to never have kids, but that was not motivated by any feeling that children would fail to be supportive of me in old age or illness. Social contracts are not what they used to be, whether it's between employers and workers, children and parents, or even between spouses. All relationships are now disposable and it's everyone for themselves.
Sad, but it seems the elderly are disposable in our society. I've already decided if I should ever be diagnosed with Alzheimer's that I will take my own life and leave this life on my own terms.
Redheadedgammy
Level 9
Jan 12, 2019
2
I wish we had assisted suicide laws here more like those in Europe so I could honestly get the help of a doctor in doing so if I end up needing to do that later on.
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