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So the loneliness has finely sunk in. I have found myself thinking dirty thoughts of my corworks and customers who come in. ..... I really feel that need to be held by someone. I miss being little spoon after a long day. Im lusting over that physical touch as well as that loving warmth from snuggling after. Falling asleep together and just feeling the heat from them keeping me warm at night. I mean the girls Co sleep when I come home from work but its not the same. You know? Just missing that physical aspects of a relationship. As well of hearing someone tell me they believe I can do it. And help me stay focused because my mind is in a dark place right now Im not going to lie. I mean Im here for my girls but that's about it. I miss having someone there to be happy to see the real me and just hold me.

Jswearingen92 5 Feb 19

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I'd hold you,I've gotta hold somebody?

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I had a kind of epiphany this weekend that I truly am going to be alone for a long time if not forever. I mean I've talked about it, and knew it was likely, but this weekend it seems to have really taken hold. It's not even worth trying to find someone. The last few connections I made on other dating sites have been scammers. The one real guy that I had a real date doesn't want anything besides a couple hours of Netflix a week. That isn't a relationship. Yeah, I'm a nice person but not the one. So, just me and the kitty girls. I'm sad, I tear up easily, and in the long run I'm going to be OK. I'm starting to bounce back now. And I will come back from this stronger than I was before. One of the things that makes me good at my job (or parts of my job) is that I can draw on my experience. I spoke with a woman today who just got an awful diagnosis, and told her "you don't know how strong you are until the only option is to be strong." So my friends, be strong. We will get through this.

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Been there. Done that. Got the t-shirt. Was single from January 2009 until August 2016 when I made the mistake of getting back with the ex from 2007. Ten months later, I realize I'm being mentally/emotionally abused and extremely manipulated. Broke it off. Within a couple months, I wanted that touch, that feeling of being desired. This time made the mistake of trying to fill the void with random Tinder hook-ups. That took about two weeks for the pleasure to wear off. All of that also snowballed into the suicide attempt I made Christmas Eve morning. Don't give in to the feelings of sadness and loneliness. You are way richer than most. You have children who need you.

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I believe you can do it.

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Been there, still doing that. Realized I am not in the right place to follow through on that desire. Good luck.

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I know the feeling. Aiken is like 2 hours south from me.
I miss physical things, more like cuddling and being affectionate.
More than that, I miss being around someone who's actually happy to see me, happy that I'm there, and treats me like a decent human being. Being a giver often comes with attracting people who only take. I don't know why that is. ...I digress.
But I totally know the feels.

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Touch that expresses real affection is energizing (literally) in many ways and it acts on us physiologically as well as emotionally. Without it, children die in orphan institutions. The associated grief of separation from others or another can make us susceptible to illnesses, also both physiological and emotional. Touch that doesn't express real affection, like other substitutes can provide temporary sense of relief followed by abrupt 'emptiness' that is almost worse than the original state motivating the substitution. It is also a primary component of addictions; one never gets enough of a substitute. The more healthy substitutes, I believe, are animals. Their affections are always genuine and support good emotional health. They can help us span times during which we aren't 'in touch' with suitable others of our own kind with whom we can bond.

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You and me both... But I'm so fedup of being left and hurt and the excuses for leaving that I just prefer to stay to myself. I don't make an effort keep any guy interested in me anymore...

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My girlfriend passed away last year and I miss so much sleeping next to her. You said it so well. I get so lonely sometimes. Mostly I miss her touch and someone to tell about my day. I just joined the group today. Very nice post

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I feel the same way. I really miss the physical and emotional intimacy.

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"I have found myself thinking dirty thoughts of my corworks" - I had a very rude dream about one of my colleagues a few weeks back - I've been finding it hard to look her in the eye ever since!

Jnei Level 8 Feb 20, 2018
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Start looking, and be sure to think yourself that you know you can do it, sometimes its as helpful as hearing someone else saying, it becomes rough when you doubt yourself

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I see nothing at all "dirty" about those thoughts !

And your thoughts are not uncommon at all - that's why some people are actually making a living at being "professional snugglers" !

Never met a professional snuggler.

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Same here... wish I could give you a hug..

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Try really hard to do nice things for yourself, treat yourself right! Feeling the way you do right now will lead you to fall for the first guy who shows you any attention...this is Dangerous, as, worst-case, pedophiles Target lonely women with kids! In the long run, ONLY you can properly care for you!

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I understand. Touch is like equalizing energy between two bodies. Kind of like after lightning strikes all is peaceful and balanced.

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Given the capriciousness with which people give and withhold intimacy in all its forms, I've come to the conclusion it's better to find your own company sufficient and take anything else that comes your way as the transient thing that it always ends up being, even in a committed relationship.

But it's hard to give up the dream. I get that.

Let me gently suggest that you're focusing on what you don't have rather than what you do have, and you're thinking it's more crucial than it actually is. Reading between the lines I think maybe this is because of the emotional "support" that it gives you, the reassurance. The thing you're discovering is that this makes your sense of security and centeredness dependent on something / someone outside of yourself.

For all the things I've gotten wrong in life, and they are legion, one thing I've always been able to come back to is that I've always been able to count on myself to be good to me, to support me, and to believe in me. Regardless of whatever betrayals or losses come my way.

You not being in a relationship at the moment isn't a referendum on your worthiness. It has nothing to do with it. Try to find a way to internalize this for yourself, and to get in the habit of supporting yourself through thick and thin. Of pampering yourself. Taking care of yourself. Paradoxically I find that when I do that, two things happen. One, I'm more attractive to people I want to attract into my life; and two, I'm less needy. The two are related.

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I've been there. More often than I care to remember. Often enough to have given up because I didn't feel that a brief relationship would be worth the painful aftermath, and I decided to focus on being a father. Now my son, he's the younger of my kids, is your age, they both have their own lives, and I'm back alone reflecting on past decisions.
Consider any new relationship carefully, put your children first, and avoid anyone who can't accept that.
It gets easier to deal with, but there's always something missing. Be there for you as well as your kids, until you find the right match.

JimG Level 8 Feb 20, 2018
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You should be held often and loved even more

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I know what you are describing. It's incredibly difficult. I wish I had wisdom here, but I have only a cyber hug to offer.

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Feeling this exact same thing tonight. I just want to cuddle with someone and go to sleep. It's like my arms ache for lack of someone to hold in them. I hope we're both able to find someone soon.

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Skin on skin time is so hard to do without. I'm a card carrying oxytocin junky, it isn't just my mind even my body puts up a protest. Quite apart from the psychological effects as someone who can't tolerate NSAIDS or codeine the antinflammatory and pain killing properties are sorely missed. (No pun intended or maybe it was.)

Kimba Level 7 Feb 20, 2018
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I've been there. It's a lonely place to be. But it will pass. Hold out for people who DO want to see the real you.

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First remember your children look up to you and can sense you are doing well and when you don't. You need to find the way to do well... if for anything else to make their childhood more plenty. You must have a friend you can hold on to for a few minutes. RIght? From a Sailor stands point... you may be in Rough Seas but you will make it to a friendly port. Put your thoughts in writing, read them, play with them, When there is nobody else... I let the things I wrote to hug me and hold me tight. The physical aspect may be missing but that touching of my spirit by a me that wrote something in the past... works wonder. Is like if when everything else fails... I come from the past to cheer me up and rescue me from my misery until that Human Touch is there to take over. Me is all I got. But I had wrote a lot. And always have a Friend to hug.

My kids do love me. I am going in for surgery this week and my middle daughter is going to drive for me and has invited me to stay with her during recovery.

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Duck !!!! Low flying dick pics !!!! Lol bet you got a few from the first lines if this post . Anyways to be serious I know the feeling been single since July and getting to feel the same . Money seems to be my biggest problem can't get out etc Then I have my boy in the weekend I won't give them up s I have to resign myself to the fact I'll have to wait a few years before I'll date again . Plus there's always it'll happen when it happens viewpoint when your not looking it's most likely to happen . Think what I'm trying to say don't stress about it and just let it happen

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