yeah, I think you have nailed a lot of what those of us seeking relationships need.
That said I have a little spoon, I roll over every 20 minutes and our cat (Kat) patiently gets up, walks over me and snuggles up again she is always little spoon. She is not silly, if she is at my back I could roll on her, but tucked up next to my chest it is unlikely.

Well if I was 40 years younger, I'd be knocking on your door... just sayin... lol
Don't rush into anything... you'll be fine...

First remember your children look up to you and can sense you are doing well and when you don't. You need to find the way to do well... if for anything else to make their childhood more plenty. You must have a friend you can hold on to for a few minutes. RIght? From a Sailor stands point... you may be in Rough Seas but you will make it to a friendly port. Put your thoughts in writing, read them, play with them, When there is nobody else... I let the things I wrote to hug me and hold me tight. The physical aspect may be missing but that touching of my spirit by a me that wrote something in the past... works wonder. Is like if when everything else fails... I come from the past to cheer me up and rescue me from my misery until that Human Touch is there to take over. Me is all I got. But I had wrote a lot. And always have a Friend to hug.

I hear you! Touch is the one thing I miss. My marriage gave me literally nothing else - not emotional support, not instrumental support, not financial assistance. There was no partnership, no sharing of the burdens of life - only transferring them from him to me. Every aspect of my life was harder in my marriage. Except for that one thing - physical touch. I am not interested in/comfortable with casual sex. And given how much better life is single than it was coupled, I’m not in a hurry to find a relationship.
So I live without touch or physical intimacy. But it turns out to be easier than living without money, stability, understanding, self-worth and everything else I needed.

I was going to make a snide remark here, but then I remembered how I felt when I got my first divorce... no one to come home to, roll over and that side of the bed is cold and empty, even missing waking up to her cold icy cold feet on my back. I know that a computer is cold and hard, but here is a virtual hug and a shoulder to cry on. If you need to vent or chat, just get hold of uncle vic at outabud1 at gmail.com. I'm sure that everyone here would be willing to do the same.

I see nothing at all "dirty" about those thoughts !

And your thoughts are not uncommon at all - that's why some people are actually making a living at being "professional snugglers" !

There is a lot to be said for being alone. I am lonely sometimes, but it beats the heck out of sitting across from a women who absolutely hates you being in her life and you having no damned idea why it went wrong and everything attempted to make things better just makes it worse. [I did find out some of the problem later. It was her immorality, no fault of mine. That is what you get from being with a Christian.]

I know what you are describing. It's incredibly difficult. I wish I had wisdom here, but I have only a cyber hug to offer.

I'd hold you,I've gotta hold somebody?

You should be held often and loved even more

I've been there. More often than I care to remember. Often enough to have given up because I didn't feel that a brief relationship would be worth the painful aftermath, and I decided to focus on being a father. Now my son, he's the younger of my kids, is your age, they both have their own lives, and I'm back alone reflecting on past decisions.
Consider any new relationship carefully, put your children first, and avoid anyone who can't accept that.
It gets easier to deal with, but there's always something missing. Be there for you as well as your kids, until you find the right match.

Given the capriciousness with which people give and withhold intimacy in all its forms, I've come to the conclusion it's better to find your own company sufficient and take anything else that comes your way as the transient thing that it always ends up being, even in a committed relationship.

But it's hard to give up the dream. I get that.

Let me gently suggest that you're focusing on what you don't have rather than what you do have, and you're thinking it's more crucial than it actually is. Reading between the lines I think maybe this is because of the emotional "support" that it gives you, the reassurance. The thing you're discovering is that this makes your sense of security and centeredness dependent on something / someone outside of yourself.

For all the things I've gotten wrong in life, and they are legion, one thing I've always been able to come back to is that I've always been able to count on myself to be good to me, to support me, and to believe in me. Regardless of whatever betrayals or losses come my way.

You not being in a relationship at the moment isn't a referendum on your worthiness. It has nothing to do with it. Try to find a way to internalize this for yourself, and to get in the habit of supporting yourself through thick and thin. Of pampering yourself. Taking care of yourself. Paradoxically I find that when I do that, two things happen. One, I'm more attractive to people I want to attract into my life; and two, I'm less needy. The two are related.

I understand. Touch is like equalizing energy between two bodies. Kind of like after lightning strikes all is peaceful and balanced.

Try really hard to do nice things for yourself, treat yourself right! Feeling the way you do right now will lead you to fall for the first guy who shows you any attention...this is Dangerous, as, worst-case, pedophiles Target lonely women with kids! In the long run, ONLY you can properly care for you!

Same here... wish I could give you a hug..

Start looking, and be sure to think yourself that you know you can do it, sometimes its as helpful as hearing someone else saying, it becomes rough when you doubt yourself

"I have found myself thinking dirty thoughts of my corworks" - I had a very rude dream about one of my colleagues a few weeks back - I've been finding it hard to look her in the eye ever since!

I feel the same way. I really miss the physical and emotional intimacy.

My girlfriend passed away last year and I miss so much sleeping next to her. You said it so well. I get so lonely sometimes. Mostly I miss her touch and someone to tell about my day. I just joined the group today. Very nice post

You and me both... But I'm so fedup of being left and hurt and the excuses for leaving that I just prefer to stay to myself. I don't make an effort keep any guy interested in me anymore...

Touch that expresses real affection is energizing (literally) in many ways and it acts on us physiologically as well as emotionally. Without it, children die in orphan institutions. The associated grief of separation from others or another can make us susceptible to illnesses, also both physiological and emotional. Touch that doesn't express real affection, like other substitutes can provide temporary sense of relief followed by abrupt 'emptiness' that is almost worse than the original state motivating the substitution. It is also a primary component of addictions; one never gets enough of a substitute. The more healthy substitutes, I believe, are animals. Their affections are always genuine and support good emotional health. They can help us span times during which we aren't 'in touch' with suitable others of our own kind with whom we can bond.

I know the feeling. Aiken is like 2 hours south from me.
I miss physical things, more like cuddling and being affectionate.
More than that, I miss being around someone who's actually happy to see me, happy that I'm there, and treats me like a decent human being. Being a giver often comes with attracting people who only take. I don't know why that is. ...I digress.
But I totally know the feels.

Been there, still doing that. Realized I am not in the right place to follow through on that desire. Good luck.

I believe you can do it.

Been there. Done that. Got the t-shirt. Was single from January 2009 until August 2016 when I made the mistake of getting back with the ex from 2007. Ten months later, I realize I'm being mentally/emotionally abused and extremely manipulated. Broke it off. Within a couple months, I wanted that touch, that feeling of being desired. This time made the mistake of trying to fill the void with random Tinder hook-ups. That took about two weeks for the pleasure to wear off. All of that also snowballed into the suicide attempt I made Christmas Eve morning. Don't give in to the feelings of sadness and loneliness. You are way richer than most. You have children who need you.