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Does anyone play D&D? Any funny character stories?

I would love to meet more players. I play 3.5 with some friends every Tuesday night. It’s really fun!

Dante_1998 4 Feb 21

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1

We were playing super-powerful characters, so full of ourselves that we were taking on demons in the Abyss. We were in over our heads, and our odds of survival were too low for our comfort. In a last-ditch effort, our wizard cast a summoning spell. The DM asked what he wanted to summon. The wizard half-jokingly, half-desperately said, "how 'bout Prometheus." The DM said, "Yeah, right. I'll give you a 1% chance." Well, the 1% was successfully rolled. A massive foot descended and squashed all our adversaries, then two giant hands came down and stole the entire plane of existence, leaving us with nothing. We got no treasure and no experience, but at least we were alive.

Wow xD

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Been many years, I killed off (well they killed themselves really) a friend's prized high level Evil Chaotic characters as DM in a published tournament dungeon one day. He retaliated by purposfully killing off my best characters (High level Paladin and Psionic Ranger) with an off the wall trap the next time he was DM. Never played since... He could never beat me in a Avalon Hill board game so that was the best revenge he could get, he turned out to be a bit on the petty side...
I prefer strategy games like Avalon Hill or Steve Jackson used to publish and backgammon or poker now.

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Yes. Since a long time ago.

I always wondered why Deities & Demigods didn't have an entries for Christian Mythos.

D&D was always a sore point with my dad, though. He never got it, and always suspected it was "Occult"

If he had ever taken the time to investigate, I feel like he would have understood me better.

That’s hilarious! I’ve never heard of anyone thinking d&d was some occult thing. That must have been really tense. 😟

@Dante_1998 I think it was an old Tom Hanks movie where he was addicted to gaming and started going schizophrenic and ended up killing someone. Most people that saw it took it to mean it was the game and not the person that was the issue.

Christian mythos in Deities and Demigonds? Wouldn't there only be just one entry?

@captainphilbo Father, the Son (Jesus Christ), and the Holy Spirit. Catholic Saints...

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I have never played before and always wanted to. Just never was around a group to play with. No one was interested in D&D

That’s a shame, it really is a fun game. Do you have a game store near you?

@Dante_1998 I'm sure I do. The problem now is that I just don't have a lot of free time any more.

Have you looked for any online groups? @NeoXerops

@Dante_1998 I have not given that a try.
But, I have no experience in the world of D&D.
Im probably better off trying to find a group when I actually have time to invest in it.

3

Let's see. First character was a first edition (not even ad&d just d&d) thief named Waldo (red and white striped shirt and everything.) "Where's Waldo?" became a staple at the table that campaign.

Next was an AD&D halfling thief named Bones, who claim to fame was "killing" a stone hydra being operated by five goblins.

Then I played a human fighter named Grimm in what we called our "dragon warrior" campaign where we were essentially highlanders fighting for Bahamut against Tiamat's dragon warriors. (Bolt of lightning and everything when we beheaded a bad guy.) That was my first long running campaign.

Second long running campaign switched to 2nd ed. Ran a grey elf ranger dragon rider that ended up with a ring of titan strength, a sunblade and a sword of sharpness wearing elder red dragon scale armor that looked like a ten year old child. (cursed fountain of youth.)

Moved away got a new gaming group and switched to 3rd ed. Played multiple sandbox campaigns with notable highlights being a wood elf archer that was polymorphed into a human, a kobald rogue convinced that he was a fighter. and an atheist cleric that made his party members sign "terms of agreement" papers in triplicate when he joined the group.

Probably my most notable characters came when we started adding homebrew to our campaigns. I ended up with an albino rakshasa monk named Feng who, along with his brother Talon, became the most notable crafter in the realm as well as one of the fiercest fighters due to inadvertent min/maxing on my part. (ended up at level 57 before he retired to become an NPC.

Next was Caster, a sorcerer/white dragon disciple/ fire elemental savant. This character was min/maxed at the DM's request because he wanted to see just how horrendous I could make him. (By the time he retired to work with Feng he could throw a hellball without taking backlash damage three times a day.)

Last was a new (sillier) DM. Played a warforged warlock named "S.A.M.U.5" (Samus for short) By the time he (played as a male personality) got done he had traveled to Union, (epic planar city) replaced a good deal of his core parts including making himself look like samus from metroid, and submerged himself in a fount of power controlling the element of cold and then proceeding to have it blow up on himself, turning him into a sentient artifact. (the gods were more than a little irritated at me, especially when the other party members did the same thing with their weapons in the other elemental founts.) Shortly after this we were being silly and I asked the party leader what he thought would happen if we fired all our artifact weapons at the same spot in the ground. We tried just goofing off and the DM decided that with that much power we ended up summoning the primal elemental titan, and then unknowingly describes captain planet to a freaking "T." I laughed like a madman until I had to stop and catch my breath and finally we had to google a picture of captain planet to show our poor DM what was so funny. To get back at us he decided to introduce one of the lovecraft elder gods to us and gave us a week of game times warning to prepare. Time came and we had all the local villages evacuated. It rose up out of the ocean and I ended up hitting this thing with an eldritch blast, bypassing it SR and DR and totaling out at over twelve hundred damage. (the mechanics of my blast at this time were that I could sacrifice my own hit points to increase the damage. We were all pretty OP by this time.) I dropped myself down to 4 hit points and almost maxed out my rolls and the DM's jaw dropped. Finally he gathers his wits about him and says, "it's still standing.... What do you do?"
I roll a bluff skill...
A bluff skill?
Yes...
You're going to try to bluff an elder god?
Yes... Okay I guess. Roll it.
I pulled a nat 20. everyone gasps... The DM is fuming.
Fine what do you say?
I say, "You better get your ass back in that water and back where you came from or I'll do it again!!!"
DM stares at me. You have 4 hit points left. How are you going to do that again?
I point at the 20 with a big cheesy grin on my face. I'm a warforged. I still look like I'm at full health.
The DM retired our characters that night.

Sorry for the excessively long post but the vast majority of my characters are very near and dear to me. I put a lot of personality and backstory into them when I know it's for a serious campaign.

No apologies necessary! I love hearing stories like these. My character is near and dear to my heart as well. If he were to die... again, I would probably cry honestly. That’s how deep this game can get, and I think that’s why I love it so much.

@Dante_1998 I can understand that. I've played quite a few characters from level one to epic level so they all have a lot of time invested in them. I sometimes use them as NPC's when I need them because it's so easy for me to slip back into their individual personalities.

2

I have played since the second edition of AD&D. I played with a dungeon master who took great pleasure in creating a powerful monster that we could not possibly defeat to guard a magic item necessary to the quest we were on.
The monster had nearly 100% magic resistance and a very low saving throw. I think statistically we had a 1 in 10,000 chance of a spell succeeding against it. It attacked us in a massive volcanic cavern. I drew drew its attack and retreated over a stone arch bridging a pool of lava. When the monster charged over the arch behind me, I used a passwall spell to temporarily remove most of the arch from beneath it. The DM nearly cried.

My favorite thing about the game was thinking outside the box to circumvent impassable obstacles in unexpected ways.

JimG Level 8 Feb 21, 2018

Wow that’s an awesome story! And very inventive! I’m sure your dm realized never to throw monsters at your party when near lava lol

1

hmmm, a naked half elf thief called Tiffany (my son).

Well I guess so clothes help with speed and stealth xD

1

My friends and I play a lot of D&D. Last time I DMd a game my players had decided that they were going to not follow the adventure hook and ended up completely destroying the entire material plane. They convinced enough of the most powerful dieties to make them gods. Po-Ark, the pork orc became the destroyer of world's and was so excited he tried out his new found power... With the swing of his mighty axe he wiped it all out.

Geez and I thought the characters in the game I’m in we’re OP lol xD

@Dante_1998 i have no idea how it got tgat out of hand. It may have been the beer...

Well that will do it I guess lol @jayneonacobb

3

Yeah... Was in a 5e group last year but had to drop out due to schedule conflicts. Think the highlight of my participation was making the bold decision to sneak off in the middle of the night (I usually play a rogue) to raid a royal bed chamber from an earlier encounter.
Got my ass kicked by an enchanted sword that was apparently guarding some loot and was knocked unconscious after a pretty embarrassing battle that involved furniture and tapestries. The party found my battered body the next day amongst the littered remains of the room and I ended up having to split my hard earned loot in exchange for life saving medical services.

Moral of the story: no amount of charisma can charm an inanimate object.

Just wish the inanimate object to be a humanoid, duh. Lol xD

3

One of my greatest characters (occasionally received requests from DMs and party members to play as them) is a Wizard named Pattersmith. In 3/3.5 he was an abjuration specialist and I can't remember his 5e specialty but he can change the effects if spells on the fly (the fireball is lightning now instead!). What makes him unique and fun is he is a very intelligent character but always has the lowest playable wisdom score plus a feet to offset any wisdom save losses.

Pattersmith is a flighty and easily distracted wizard who goes off on entirely random tangents and silliness. He is very scientific and will investigate anything and everything he notices. He's been known to be the victim of a trap, and then deliberately head back into the trap to see if it works again in the name of science. He has an arch nemesis named Amalexia who is a blue dragon that he permanently polymorphed into a human form with a ring of wishes. His best friends are a kobold evoker, a baby silver dragon with levels of paladin, and a half orc with the lowest playable intelligence but a max wisdom.

I once stalled a game for 2 hours having an in character conversation about a rock discovered on the side of the road that was brought to him by a player that had no experience with the character in hope that it would distract him and stop his idle chatter. Much lols were had. He has a streak of 115 consecutive critical successes on knowledge checks.

Ha I love it!

4

I’ve been olsyong D&D 5e for two years now sndbI love it. I originally played GURPS, but not many people know that game. My most fun character so far was a Half-orc barbarian named Gergathor, with an intelligence of 4. (Cliche, I know) In our first boss battle against a Demon prince, and Gergathor is dropped into a pool of lava. Any other race woul’ve died, but half-orcs can recive a killing blow and keep 1hp. So, Gergathor floats under the molten hot rock, lives and crawls back to shore. He then goes into a rage, chages naked at the demon and crits a uppercut, that dosent kill it. But damn that felt good. He spent the rest of the campaing naked and using only his fists.

Remind me never to anger your half-orc lol

I tried hard to get my gaming group to let me run a GURPS campaign.

Right? My friend and I used to run a Sci-fi game mostly set in the Mass Effect Universe with aliens from Halo, Star Wars and the Elder Scrolls. I played as a sarcastic Quarian (Mass Effect) smuggler while another played as my Elite (Halo) bodyguard. Our adventures were like that of Cowboy Bebop while we tried to earn enough money to buy food. Fun stuff.@JimG

3

I love D&D. I was in a Pathfinder campaign recently, and one of our party members was an Orc/Troll/Half-Dragon hybrid (special permission from the GM). And he was pretty good natured for having Troll blood. But DAMN was he stupid, and he acted it out in roleplay. My character, who was well known for being surly and sometimes downright unkind had a pair of masterwork katanas that he took great pride in, and the Orc/Troll (named Nox) painted them pink and purple.

Now, from a practical standpoint, the paint protected them from the ocean air. But from a personal standpoint, my character was ready to murder the crap out of the Orc for his transgression. Fortunately, no fight happened because the diplomat of the party, a friendly Gnomish Bard, managed to talk my Tiefling down. My character isn't evil. He's just quick to anger and frankly, this situation could have been a lot uglier than it ended up being.

I love stories like that. Hearing about other people’s characters is kind of like learning about a piece of that person. Lol

My character was Chelish. Basically, he was from a country that was dominated by the Church of Asmodeus. And my character had once been a devil worshiper himself. But he fell in love with a woman and was beginning to see the error of his ways in the past. He had sought an atonement spell and given up the benefits of his Infernal contract.

He was still kind of a jerk at that point, though. They say that nobody is perfect. My character was seeking to redeem himself, but he still had a pretty big chip on his shoulder, and the rest of the party was holding their breaths at that point, waiting to see if my character was going to attack the orc for painting his swords, and painting them pink and purple, no less.

3

Tons! In fact my literary, graphic and performing arts are greatly influenced by D&D, which I DMed until I graduated from college.

You might create a D&D, fantasy wargaming or other such group since there is none as of yet. I have many of my D&D "war stories" and resultant art in my creatives' group: [agnostic.com]

That’s a good Idea! Thank you!

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I’ve played years ago, but seems like no one does anymore. Maybe if I were to look into gaming stores, but that’s not my thing.

I wouldn’t want to do that either. Playing with a whole bunch of strangers makes it lose its flavor. In my opinion anyway.

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