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Do you think that online friendships can survive a real-life meeting? Most websites, such as this one here, are created for like-minded people. Therefore, it's probable that most people have at least one thing in common, and can create close online friendships with cyberbuddies. However, if you were to ever meet them in person, how much commonality do you think you would have other than the online connection?

marga 7 Feb 22
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22 comments

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7

I have had "pen pal" for about 18 months i met on POF. We are only about 3 hours apart but have such a great relationship we are afraid to meet, it might spoil everything.

7

Absolutely!

7

Definitely yes. And the phones might even get put away at dinner.

7

I met my second wife in an AOL (yes, that's America Online) chatroom long before we had the kind of functionality that exists now. Back then, you could either "play" in a group chat, or could create a private chat. She and I first met in a group chat and eventually went private. We talked online, and then on the phone, for about 4 weeks before we met for the first time F2F on a dinner date. After that we were pretty inseparable and had a 15 year long marriage together. So that's a big YES from me. =]

6

If you have made a close online friend, finally meeting is awesome in my experience. I have a couple that I have seen face to face with about 4 times in over 10 years. But we stay in touch online regularly.

5

Yes they can.

With a small qualification - the people have to have plenty in common, just as they would have to in real life. I used to frequent a popular online forum for UK bikers and know of several couples that met first on the forum and then later in real life at either rallies or one of the 'shindigs' we had a couple of times a year.
I still have friends I meet up with from time to time that I met there too.

3

Sure, I don't see why an online friendship would be damaged by meeting in-person. It seems that would have a better chance of working out positively than with people you meet randomly or are forced to be with (such as co-workers). At least with meeting someone online you gain a familiarity with that person's personality and likes/dislikes and a sense of some of their views albeit through the filter of the internet. Unless you or the other person is a psychopath, then it probably won't work out in the long-run.

3

Yes. I have several friends that I have met online, and have known face-to-face for several years. There are others that have come and gone, though. For me, it is just one more avenue to meet people and make friendships that may or may not be deep and lasting.

3

Met one of my best friends online. We've been friends for 18 years now. She and her husband were just here for a visit, a few weeks ago. Our first in-person meeting ended up being a drunken weekend, which we fondly reminisce about every time we get together. When we lived closer, we'd get together every few months. Now, living farther apart, it's every couple of years, but we talk quite frequently.
While she was here last, we totally freaked out her husband by having complete conversations by only using a couple of words apiece. We have had an amazing connection from day 1.
Some people are meant to be friends, regardless of how they meet.

That's a great story--and I agree with your last sentence 100%. 🙂

3

Its hard to tell till you do but I have done it before

2

Yes. I hope so.

2

Depends how honest people are

1

One can only hope. That’s the nice thing about these types of conversations, they can reveal a bit more of us.

1

I think it depends on the individual. Some people I've met in person and it didn't work; others I've met and it exceeded my expectations. Either way it was a surprise.

1

I was so glad I meet someone on here. I was hoping that we can become more than friend. I wasn't her type. Now we just are friend

1

I would think it's certainly possible, but I bet most people wouldn't have much else in common. That's still not a reason to avoid it, though. I'd much rather meet an atheist cyberbuddy than a christian one.

1

Its like 50%. remember not all in person friendships last either. theres no difference.

1

Only 'one thing in common' is a good starting point, but hardly sufficient reason for wanting to meet in person unless other motivations are at work. Through correspondence on line, just like the old fashioned way via mail, can be a great way to get to know how others look at and evaluate things; what their values are. Value and prioritizing are a couple of things that can undermine great, fun loving relationships IF the parties get too close.

It is said that opposites attract. Initial attraction might happen due to such unknowns, but long term, sharing of life and time together isn't facilitated when people have differing values. Likes make much more stable friendships and close, loving relationships. There is often little to no need for verbalizing because the commonality contains a mutual 'knowing' in time. It can get so good that people can almost finish each other's sentences and anticipate their reactions with amazing, stimulating accuracy.

I believe that written and later, possibly, skype type or in person getting acquainted is a miraculous way to 'cut through the 'bullshit'. Without the skin level distractions, people can get to know each other's minds and sensitivities. A person's beauty and fullest promise of beauty cannot be perceived by the eyes alone. That isn't to say that personal appearance lacks important status. More often than not, inner values and self-love are apparent by how people groom and care for themselves. Self-love, self-care and grooming go a long way in overcoming cultural and passing criteria for what constitutes 'beauty'.

I joined this site with those notions strongly held. Time will tell if they are accurate.

1

No way.

Shorter story; met her online and seemed to have a lot in common, after a awhile met in real life, hooked up. She was in a bad situation and I helped her out on condition that she stay only a few months until she could get a job and then move out. It turns out that she had no real job skills despite being in her early 40s. She now lives with me helps me take care of my elderly mother because I didn't want to be the person who made her homeless. That was ten years ago.

I liked my life better when I lived alone.

that's a bummer 😟

@marga Tell me about it. My hobbies require playmates and a place to spread out my toys.

1

Two people on agnostic.com have ONE THING IN COMMON - they are in agnostic.com. That's it.

There is a lot of 'other stuff' about people - so a single common factor really isn't that much in common at all.

0

Glad to see you feel better.

Thanks. I've had a rough couple of weeks, but I am starting to feel better. At least today I ventured out of my bedroom. 🙂

0

Idk? Most of the people I talk to every day have seen me in person.

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