Someone used the phrase "see my naked heart". I love that. When you really love someone's insides, the outside doesn't matter.

What you've said is profoundly true. Many a time, the outer and the inner shells don't match up. Unfortunately I have found that out firsthand.

You're absolutely right, but the outer shell can be fun for a while.

True! The love of my life is now with a man who is much better suited to her than I was. I like him because he exemplifies so may things that I see of value in other men. We are all good friends and I still love her dearly and am there for her as she is for me, whenever the need arises.

What is important about human relationships is the love and appreciation of the kind of person the 'other' is. That doesn't die but many people believe a lot of bullshit principles that move them to kill it out of spite and ego sickness.

That may be asking too much. But is within reach. Young people needs are very different from the older, more matured ones. So it is more easy to obtain when there is no baggage, other words during youth. I have friends that it is all I want from them. I have lovers that is all I wanted from them. I can keep the issues separated. My wife was never my best friend. Blame me for it. We simply peaked sexually and were married for 19 years. I never thought it will go beyond 10 years. I don't think she had ever met my match. But she can keep trying because we both know he is out there. I am not unique. I did found other matches. It is no different than separation of church and state. I want them separated. lovers will be lovers, friends will be friends. My match will be revealed and I will be happy certainly but I don't mind separation of duties and chores until that moment arrive.

The best relationships occur exactly when they are supposed to after -honestly- analyzing what we're hearing from the other person...and paying close attention to what our guts are telling us. Trust me on this. Three times down the isle when I was focused on the 'shell', other flowery surface things and not the dysfunction that was churning inside of it. Avoiding the nonsense in the poems about following our heart pays dividends as it many times lead us off a cliff. Same with those saying to think it through: we can justify all sorts of bad decisions with enough thought. But our guts...those never lie and always shoot straight.

The outer shell is a wonderful rapper needed to hopefully protect a soft delicious beautiful centre.

Not so much act like but actually be.