A brilliant friend suffers with the same and other emotional issues. He has found mind altering prescription to be effective for a time - - they have to be changed every so often as they only work for a limited amount of time.

Thanks for the input. Have tried and trying many things walking in nature,yoga,weight lifting. never have I encountered such a deep and lasting feelings. Sometimes I think of leaving a personal relationship of eleven years.

Sunlight, winter is bad for depression,
find a nice spot and soak up the sunshine.

It is thought that serotonin can affect mood and social behavior, appetite and digestion, sleep, memory and sexual desire and function. Toxic substances like heavy metals, pesticides, drug use, and some prescription drugs can cause permanent damage to the nerve cells that make serotonin and other neurotransmitters. ... Hormone changes cause low levels of serotonin and neurotransmitter imbalances. Lack of sunlight contributes to low serotonin levels.

I relate. I have chronic illness and so go into deep depressions that can last quite awhile. We're all different, but I find for me, exercise and sunlight can help sometimes. I wish you the best.

I have had troubles with depression off and on since my early 20s. Hang in there. You're in good company and I've learned it doesn't last forever.