*Funeral For a Friend
(A gimps into the mind of a Christian preacher ? )
Years ago a white twenty-something year old man who taught at a Native American college died of a stroke.
His funeral was held in his Christian church that he and his wife, with two children and a 3rd on the way, devoutly supported.
The congregation hall was segregated into two sections: his (work/student) family of over a hundred people from the College and one or two people who were not from the college filled the pews on the left side of the great hall. His widow, two kids, and his parents (her parents died when she was very young) sat in the first row of the pews on the right.
The preacher, who’s original demeanor resembled the Pillsbury Doughboy sat elevated on the stage, both adorned with crosses. With his round happiness he gleefully strummed his acoustic guitar and sang a series of simple songs praising Jesus. Then he lead the audance in two additional songs praising Jesus. When he finally finished praising Jesus he begrudgingly announced, “I understand there are a few people here from where he worked that have a few words they would like to say. This is my church but I suppose I’ll let them talk.”
The following half hour was nothing short of a poetic, emotional and tear-filled beautiful event, an array of students spoke of the good their teacher had contributed to their lives. The college president spoke, and in addition to offering respect for the departed and his family, noted how Native Americans treat family, how, because he had contributed to their lives, he was a part of their family. Near the end of the moving testimonials a small group of fellow (Native American) teachers (one with a hand drum) spoke of how when a family member dies, they will sing a cross-over song to help the one who has passed find “the happy hunting grounds”. Their following song was both heart felt and lovely. On the left side of the pews, there was not a dry eye in the crowd.
When the last of the college people sat, The Christian preacher regained control of the event with an air of condescension,
“Well, now that that’s over. . . “ He spent roughly the next hour on stage staring only and directly at the widow telling her over and over. . She must have done something to displease god. This is god’s way of testing her. To be saved, she must become even more devout to Jesus. Jesus will forgiver her but only if she does what Jesus wants. . . . . Etc.
As I watched the widow, she lowered her head and slowly nodded in agreement each time the Preacher asserted how God is testing her and how she must be better. To me, she appeared to be a bobble headed servant, with no choice but to drink his cool-aid.
After the preacher closed the event and we were free to leave his church, on the way out the doors I asked our college librarian what she thought about the preacher’s lengthy closing rants. She replied, she thought he was feeling intimidated (all the Native American’s and their stories) so he returned to his “comfort zone”.
This did not occur to me but I think she is correct.
What kind of a person would you have to be if your “comfort zone” was defined by belittling widows to affirm your own superiority as the moral authority of her life?
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The preacher's rant was cruel and inhumane! Hopefully, the off-set tribute helped to balance out that sick preacher! The widow may have come away with ptsd and what about the unborn child's wellbeing? This is simply beyond ignorance! I can only hope that someone at that service, spoke to the widow and assured her, that she was not being 'tested' for anything. And, that the minster was way out of line...mostly on the insanity side!
Freedompath
Level 9
Mar 4, 2018
1
I rather doubt she received any comfort. They lived in the country over 20 miles from town. Her neighbours (two miles away) who came to help her (load her husband's body in the back of their neighbour's pick-up truck (he was a big tall man that she could not move)) to take to the ER. were, a few days later both t-boned by a speeding teenager who did not slow down or yield at the intersection killing both her neighbours (husband/wife) instantly. So both her neighbours died before her husband's funeral. From what I understand, the widow quickly sold their farmstead (her husband had purchased the farmstead only a few years earlier) and moved about a thousand miles to live with his parents.
As her husband was a product of his very devout parents, I am not optimistic about her emotional well being.
@NoMagicCookie that gives me an ache, in my heart! I 'know' this mentality and I continue to be puzzled as to how it keeps perpetuating, itself (religious distortions), with TV and all the other exposures (may not be educational, but it does have some real things to ponder)! It is somewhat like that here! Right down to our Senators and Representatives...even our Sheriff! I find it hard to understand, because I came out of that culture and I am far, far removed, with exposure and experience to real life. And, I came from poverty and deprivation!
@Freedompath I congratulate your ascension from the darkness of superstitious dogma. Although my Christian upbringing was not as intense, because the church openly (taught?) things that were in direct contradiction with observed reality, for example (Star of Bethlehem that shone above the baby Jesus (face palm)) and many others. . . As this and so many other assertions were utterly ridiculous, when I was young I thought the only purpose of churches was to scare children (as only a child would possibly believe this junk) into doing what adults wanted them to do. It wasn't until my 20's before I realized many adults never grew up and still believed in their invisible sky daddy. That was a very sad and scary realization that has greatly reduced my optimism for a healthy civilization that will continue to advance or survive the increasing population/environment pressures.
@NoMagicCookie believe me...I feel grateful for clarity and my freedom, every day!
It's a wonder he didn't make some snidey remark about the testimonials being 'paganistic' or something of that nature. What an arrogant fellow saying he was "going to let them talk in his church"
Skyfacer
Level 7
Mar 4, 2018
3
I could be wrong but I think it was actually his (as in he purchased the building) church. The building started in the late 50's as First United Methodist church (coincidently the same church my parents took me to when I was a child and had no option to forgo the experience) about five years before the death, the building went up for sale. The guy who died about four years before his death happily called his church a "New" church and, although a standard "praise Jesus" institution, it may not have been affiliated with a major recognized "praise Jesus" franchise. It wasn't long after the funeral when the church again went up for sale. I think the preacher realizing one of his best meal-tickets was about to be cancelled may have also increased his stress factor.
In retrospect, I think his "becoming more devout to Jesus " etc. may have also been implied code for "I am god's representative, Give me more money". As he stressed her need to sacrifice because she displeased god seamed to be the centre of his argument.
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