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Do you believe that human contact is essential to live? What would your solutions be to combat the feelings of lonliness? What if you had constraints of some kind, such as social phobias, health issues whether physical or mental..? What if the answer isn't to just get out and socialize or to just pick up the phone and call someone?

CoffeeGoddess 5 Mar 19
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19 comments

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Human contact is essential, at least for me anyway. I would not know how to answer the social constraints part as nothing much holds me back from socializing when need be. I do know patience is necessary for good social relations, as sometimes it could take considerable time before crossing paths with someone of similar interests.

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I don't need human contact and would be fine living alone with my cat and books.

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I feel it's essential, but it all depends on the type of connection. Healthy, supportive relationships help us grow throughout our life. But a lot of it has to do with how we're connected to ourselves, too. I went through a very long period where I had overwhelming social anxiety and had a difficult time connecting with other people on most any level - as a result, I also couldn't discern who was good for me and who wasn't. Still grapple with that at times, but I think I'm improving.

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It's actually been scientifically proven that humans, just as all animals, require a connection to another. Creatures kept in isolation from another end up going insane and dying. But there is always the exception to the rule.

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Excellent questions and I have personally grappled with them because my late 2nd wife died from such illnesses and had to live within those limitations. I was her sole caregiver for years.

I think some form of human contact is necessary for mental and emotional health. How much and what kind varies a great deal according to personality (introvert / extrovert, social / asocial, etc) and preference.

My late wife leveraged the Internet, the telephone, and every other technological aid that she could to feel less isolated. She was a part of sites like this (not atheist, social media generally -- she was a believer to the end). With my help she was able to do some limited travel, though not during the final 5 years or so of her life.

When my wife died I found I needed some in-person human contact on a daily basis. Not a ton, and not deep, BFF types of contact, but some. I was fortunately part of a group of men who met for coffee each morning, so that fit the bill. Since then, for the first time in my adult life (my 1st wife was similary constrained, just by mental rather than physical illness) I have been free to explore my options for a social life.

It turns out my social needs are pretty modest. Way more modest than I expected. Some of this is probably getting old and more tired of people's bullshit. Some of it is predisposition. My current wife is more social than I, and so I tend to humor that and engage in more than I would on my own.

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The only part of life where human contact is essential for life is conception. I'm happy with or without it.

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I'm nearly deaf so it's hard for me. Most people get irritated repeating themselves. My job also makes it difficult because I'm always on the road so this is about my only social interaction. I'm just used to it I guess.

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Thanks to all who paticipated! I rather enjoyed reading the respnses!

1

Apart from my time parenting, I have been a loner, 4-6 weeks at a time never speaking to a single person. I reckon I would manage with little dificulty.

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Some monks (purportedly) can spend years in solitude with no ill effects. Contrarily, such solitude is absolutely necessary for much of the attainments they seek. This path is a steep one, attempted by few. I'm pointing it out, not recommending it.

People can live just fine without sex--and I don't mean aces. There are people in various cultures who choose a celibate life, and don't end up losing their minds or their health, nor go on raping sprees.

Studies have explored the reasons why more intelligent people tend to be happier with fewer friends and less social contact in general.

I have always had few friends; that's how I like it. I also have some significant social anxiety; I generally avoid people. My needs for social connection are like a laser beam instead of a lantern's glow: intense, focused, and small--very easily satisfied by 1-3 friends.

I also communicate online a little (in intense, focused, and small ways) and do a lot of reading. I have met orders of magnitude more kindred spirits through books than I have in the world of flesh; I commune with my tribe in the realm of thought, transcending the bonds of space and time. The fact that the authors of these thoughts may have been dead for hundreds, perhaps even thousands of years makes literally no difference to me: my need for connection is met this way--and it is more than just "enough"; it is deeply fulfilling.

I don't get bent out of shape about the fact that society's paradigms regarding social contact don't fit me. I calmly go about my business doing what works for me.

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I don't know if it's essential, probably depends on the person, but personally, I crave it, as I always have. I believe if I couldn't get out due to health issues, I'd use dating sites and social media to meet people.

Beyond that and working on my health, I think I'd want to immerse myself into some kind of hobby, or focus on something I enjoy to combat lonliness.

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Ihave got some ie most people are fucking assholes

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I do think that social contact is almost mandatory. We are a social species. It's a fact. That's why putting drug addicts into prison cells solves nothing but boost the amount of inmates in a prison system that is over-burdened. They don't get the help that they need and it become a cycle that does noone good except to throw money at a system.

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We are social creatures. We do not make sense outside of a social context. Even if I were to completely isolate myself from the rest of humanity the 'me' that I would take into that isolation would be a compendium of all the interactions of my previous life mixed in with a fairly pliable genetic base. 'No matter where you go there you are. " Buckaroo Banzai

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I think it’s especially hard for non believers. I find it hard to respect a believer and would rather not be in a relationship with someone like that! That immediately knocks 70% of this country off the dating pool. Then on top of that you have to be compatible. Try dating NSA. Maybe once or twice a month. After a year or two you’ll see that it work or that it’s hopless. If the latter is true develop a love for travel and reading.

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I don't "need" it, but I prefer to have some, the amount varying over time. I do notice that being with people, discussing ideas, trading lies and bad jokes make me intellectually more acute. Being confined to my thoughts alone has its limitations.

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Humans have evolved as social animals over thousands of generations. We rely on each other for survival. We rely on farmers for our food, delivery drivers to bring the food from the farm to the grocery store, grocers to sell us the food, employers/customers to give us money so we can afford the food, etc. etc. In that sense, human contact is unquestionably essential. This makes it difficult for introverts who would rather not deal with people. As far as combating loneliness... umm... dang it. I wish I had some good advice right about now. Sorry, this probably doesn't help much.

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Yes, human contact is extremely essential. I am the perfect example. I'm an introvert and due to life situations outside of my control, have also become a hermit. I have social anxiety. I'm a twenty year veteran of public transportation. I have the physical and mental health issues. And, I just want to scream every time someone suggests I just get out of the house for a walk in the park or, worse yet, making a phone call.

In December 2012, I had to drop out of college one semester from my bachelor's due to depression, suicide attempts and extreme financial debt because of said college.

From then until May 2015, when I got a job in an Amazon warehouse, I had absolutely no life. Rarely left my apartment. Was constantly reading books or doing puzzle books or jigsaw puzzles because I didn't have a TV, phone or Internet access. The only time I left the house, except for the rare visit with a friend who's like a mom to me, was to go to the workforce or other locations for job applications, to the convenience store across the street for my cigarettes, the grocery store across the street or go to church on Sunday's (which is why I'm an active member despite being a non-believer - they're the only family I have).

In February 2017, I moved from the aforementioned apartment, where I'd been seven years, to an apartment complex thirty minutes (or an hour by bus) away from everything I knew (government housing doesn't have many options available). I now live so far south in my city, I barely can claim to be in the same city. I have no friends. I am dependent on church members for rides to and from Sunday service because it's my only social outlet. Even the way my building is constructed has me cut off from others- my apartment faces the road so I can't even sit on my patio and chat with neighbors in the parking lot. I quit smoking due to surgery in October. The only time I leave the apartment is for work or doctor's appointments.

I'd attempted suicide this past Christmas Eve morning. When I was released from treatment January 4th, I sought out a social network beyond Facebook. Which is how I discovered this site and another social networking site for people with disabilities.

But, I'm still alone. I still only see co-workers and doctor's instead of friends or family, of which I have none. This isolation is part of what led to the depression downward spiral that culminated in the suicide attempt.

I still don't have a life. No TV. No WiFi. Phone bill is outrageous because of the data I use since there's nothing else to do.

I yearn for companionship, friendship, socialization but, at the same time, it completely terrifies me.

1

For a lot of people human contact is important (imho - especially for small children). I understand your point since I find myself in the position of not being able to call anyone to just talk. Not sure how to solve this...

@Donna_I One reason I love this site- there's no small talk. For me, that's one of the things that terrifies me about attempts to be social. It's rare to find engaging, mind-bending conversation the likes of which we have here.

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