Ask yourself. Would you be willing to marry a man that was grossly disfigured despite being kind and brilliant?

If we are talking about Oreos, I want a nice chocolate cookie outside with a double stuffed inside. It's all about the insides. Lol. I'm kidding. Looks fade for women and men.

For me it's the eyes, that's what I notice. Not the shape or color, but the kindness

Looks fade and appeal to those who are superifical in just about every sense of the word. Personality is plastic, even the world comes to us from the Latin -Persona, to wear a mask. Brilliance and character nagivate the course of time and shine out regardless of looks.

Looks are what attract but the inner person is what makes it work. If you happen to be a flaming ass or caustic bitch any self respecting mate or possible mate will be gone. I was told when out on a date watch how your date treats the waitperson. That will be how they will eventually treat you. Intelligence, kindness, interest become so much more important the longer you are with your partner.

Even the best of us ( with perhaps an exception here and there), that make a conscious effort not to judge, respond - if only subliminally , to others' appearance.

But if we get the opportunity and time, to have meaningful exchange with someone, then it's the inner workings that are revealed - causing us to want to know more, or want to be gone !

No, appearance shouldn't be a deciding factor, but I know few who are not at least a little influenced by it, for better or worse.

I don't know if it should but its natural to look good for a mate in many creatures including humans. I mean look at the makeup, clothes and hair products industry alone and perfume and other things. personly I have to be physically attracted to someone but I need the inside to be good too even more.

It is both. be appealing to as many people as you see fit but be appealing

One thing that has replaced apprearance for me in this age of online networking is spelling, grammar, and punctuation. Occasional typo notwithstanding, and try as I might not to be a snob, I notice this and can't help but make judgments accordingly.

Looks play a minior role for me. I’ve dated people with disfigurements or “sub par” looks, but the biggest turn off for me is obesity. I live a pretty active life, so some level of fitness is nesseccary. I’m mostly attracted to a person’s attitude and outlook on life. Someone who has seen the worst in life yet still smiles.

Looks are just the icing on the cake. The big picture is what's inside.

I have always thought that the inside was only potential and what really counts is our connections to one another.

Where they volunteer, where they spend their time, what do they do alone, what do they do with others, etc.

Appearance is important. People automatically size up prospective romantic partners by their looks, age, social status, and finances, usually trying to score someone the same or higher level than they are.

For instance, a short, homely young nerd can still score a hot young babe if he makes a lot of money and is famous. An old, ugly dude can also get a hot woman if he has a lot of money and is willing to spend it on her.

Hot young women know they can parlay their looks into a life of ease, but most only do so if the cost is worth it, i.e., how much money they get, how envious their friends will be, etc. before committing to a homely or elderly mate.

A short, fat, homely older woman woman can score a hot young man if she owns a beach house and drives a BMW, etc.

If I may give a different way of looking at it.
You meet the love of your life, they are everything you could ever want, drop dead gorgeous, witty, kind, intelligent, just everything.
Life is great,
then they become disfigured, cancer, illness, car accident, whatever. (even aging)
Do you love them any less?
Looks are irrelevent, I have had both attractive and less attractive (plain I guess) partners, no difference.

Since my main goal is to get out in the wilds, do things and have a good time. A relationship comes later looks don't matter.

Once you get there it's what's on the inside that counts but the other makes it a lot easier to get there

Appearance can make for attraction, Attraction may lead to interest. For Me, If there is nothing inside to back it up, there is nothing for me.

You don't look across the room at a stranger and think to yourself "check out that personality"! Of course looks matter. It is what attracts us first. Now are they all that matters? No

The outside is going to degrade over time. The inside is only going to get better.

I have been physically attracted to men, at times, that my friends considered downright unappealing. It's a matter of taste, I suppose. I have also met some who are considered universally very attractive for whom I felt an immediate aversion. It's not like I'm any expert judge of character, either, as my previous marriages prove.

Appearance plays a role at first but a beautiful woman can become ugly fast and a woman you might not be attracted to at first can become beautiful once you get to know them. Brains are the sexiest part of a woman to me. I can’t handle a airhead.

Why not? When you buy clothes, do you try them on in a mirror? How about buying a car? How about the exterior of a house?