James Breakwell:

Yoga instructor: folds herself in triangles like an American flag

Me: Maybe I'll try the beginner class.

Kendra Alvey:

The yoga teacher said to get into your most comfortable seated position but there weren't any barstools around, I looked.

Epic Yoga Fail

Forty-eight hours after hiking 11 miles with 5,009' of elevation gain, I joined a yoga class for the first time. Legs were extremely stiff and sore. Hello, lactic acid!

"I have great balance," I bragged to the teacher, thinking of hiking. Not in yoga. Try standing on one foot with the other leg straight out at a 45-degree angle. "Hold and breathe deeply." I could manage two seconds before collapsing.

The teacher used Sanskrit names for yoga poses. "Get ready for Ardha Baddha Parivrtta Malasana." Huh? Whatever happened to "downward dog"?

I was spectacularly inept. Announcing I was crooked, the Yoga teacher repeatedly marched over to straighten my body. It was embarrassing. Felt like a warped oaf.

At the end of class, we all laid on the floor for three minutes. "Finally, something I'm competent at," I quipped. Everyone laughed. We were supposed to be meditating.

All I could think of was how cold and hard the floor felt. Shivering, I longed to grab a blanket but didn't want to disturb anyone’s sacred meditation. The longest three minutes of my life.

[huffpost.com]