I can understand women being burned out on conventional marriage, as it tends to give them the short end of the stick. It is not, in my view as man, an unfair criticism that a lot of men lean on their women for way too much.

On the other hand, I am a traditionalist in the sense that I don't see much point in various arm's-length or friends with benefits types of situations. It would feel empty and vaguely demeaning to me, I think. But if I were ever single again, I would not feel lost or particularly lonely. I crossed some sort of Rubicon in that regard maybe 7 or 8 years ago, where Fear Of MIssing Out (FOMO) is no longer a factor in my thinking. Because after 43 years in 3 marriages, I've missed out on quite a bit anyway. Marriage is underwhelming on a good day, really. What I thought I was missing was some glorified form of free-flowing contented intimacy that doesn't exist in the real world with real people. This is not a knock on the women I've loved; it's just a knock on the fantasy castles my brain and hormones have built for me over the years, with the help of pop culture and tradition.

My wife is a fairly withheld person who likes a certain amount of "space", and as I got acclimated to it, it did me a favor: I've learned to figure out myself and what I want / need and develop networks of appropriate friendships that give me the outlets and meet the needs I have without depending entirely on my wife for all that. This means that my wife is very important to me, but not my sole emotional and spiritual support.

Hell, because of her insomnia and my prostate getting me up a few times every night, we don't even sleep in the same room anymore and it doesn't really bother either of us other than occasionally feeling pangs of guilt from the inertia of societal expectations.

This sort of thing doesn't tend to get better with age, either. We are more set in our ways, more burned out on going through the motions of what's expected whether or not it actually works for us individually or as a couple.

In short, I think that couples have tended to not explore all the ways they could be together while still growing as persons because tradition has limited the range of possibilities they could even consider. If couples were not so joined at the hip and men were not such un self-aware emotional cripples to begin with, maybe the phenomenon discussed in the articles wouldn't exist. Men would be less emotionally needy, while pretending that it's the women that are emotionally needy; people could live together in committed relationships without suffocating each other; people wouldn't expect more of living with another human being than is realistic. It would be a win for everyone.

I'm not opposed to living with someone, but separate domiciles is probably easier.

I wouldn't want to live all-the-time under women's rules. But it would be nice to have some company once in a while.

My mother, aged 82, is very firm about not remarrying or having another relationship. She went through some tough years with my dad's health but she says she had enough years invested in that relationship before being a nursemaid. It makes me kind of sad because we've tended to be long-lived in my family (my Gram was an independent 103 before she died) so it seems a long time not to have someone in your life.

Works for me. Though, either is ok.

I like being a house hubby, it's great. We eat what I want when I want (with some input), I know where everything in the damn house is, and i don't actually expect her to do anything but dust and vaccumme (allergies or I'd do that too, but I also turn loose a robot vac every other day).

But I wouldn't do it for just anyone - it is actual work - although in some aspects doing something for 2 is actually easier, and if I don't feel like cooking or she wants something I don't feel like making we go out or she makes it. I have a partner that understands and appreciates what I do, and without that appreciation I couldn't do it.

So I don't blame them one little bit. Just don't make the mistake of thinking all guys are like that. There's a good, solid, 1/2 of 1% of us that'll actually take care of ourselves, with a further 1/2 of that number who'll take care of you, too.

We're just all taken. PFFFFFT.

Totes agree!
I have no desire to pick men's undies or do their laundry or cook their dinner..I ain't no Donna Reed!