I am envious of your lifestyle and good health....my war left me furious of the Bush Crime Family that murdered Allende leaving his widow stranded in USA.....the old boys who ignored you ARE NOT MEN.....women and men are born Feminist Atheists and are brutalized away from this shrinking garden earth you hike....my thoughts are of Woodstock NY and Crosby Stills Nash&Young singing there in the foothills of Adirondacks somewhat akin to your path up into your mountains....with a blanket and trail mix with Chianti, my dream is to find a pristine bed of moss never to be a virgin again or stone cold snow alone

Our society (and, in a way, I suppose all societies) values conformity.

I suppose part of the enduring appeal that evangelical Christianity had on me was that it was a way to conform when I already felt I was a fish out of water. I was too introverted, too intellectual, not quite neurotypical, too idealistic, etc., and people chronically didn't "get" me. Hell, I didn't get me at times.

Non-conformity, even if a person isn't really trying to rebel, is a warning or danger sign that someone is not quite on board with the program. It's off-putting to people. It can be threatening. Or just plain irritating.

I have gotten used to it. I no longer expect to be "grokked". Or particularly need to be. It's a fool's errand. It's enough work to grok yourself. Sometimes when one's immediate family misconstrues what you're trying to say or do or what your motivations are, it still stings. They, of all people, should have some clue about you. They, of all people, know you have earned their trust. But ultimately even that is having expectations, however arguably reasonable, and that is the stuff that suffering is made of.

I made a quality decision a few years ago that my personal peace and self image and enjoyment are not going to depend on others. While I still don't have perfect command of that mindset, it is generally serving me well.

I've found that being thrust into a different living-state distances me from my "normal" outlook-group. This has occurred in two significant events.
Becoming a male single-parent required a radical lifestyle change from typical 30-something males in my sphere.
At age 55 I closed up shop here and moved to China. Stayed about 3 years. For the past 10 years I continue to experience reverse culture shock.

I’m not sure how much of my flaming introvert personality is innate, or a learned defense strategy from growing up with an abusive, alcoholic father and co- dependent mother, but growing up I struggled to fit in.
Now, I don’t give it a second thought.

Like all cats, I believe I bring panache and savoir faire everywhere I go.

Others consider me a feral pest.

Seriously, though, I have enough sense of self worth that whatever makes me different from others, for better or worse, I don't let it count against me, if that makes sense. I try to counter "stranger in a strange land" feelings with "act like I own the place".

I mean, I integrated here on this board without the whole "Hi, I'm new here, please be my friend" schtick - that's my IRL mode, too.

Ditto. I can seemingly fit in anywhere and with most anybody, but never really do with the rarest of exceptions. In one of the more common psychological type assessments I have the most uncommon personality type, for whatever that is worth.

I do find that most of my friends are either artistically inclined in some way: musicians, theater, painting, etc. All read books and are constantly trying new things and sharing ideas and articles to discuss among ourselves. So, in that respect, I don't feel like I don't fit in.

However, I did feel out of place in the corporate world...there was a period of time where I felt smothered and compelled to fit in: buy a bigger house, a nicer car, etc. It was just not "me" so I got out. I was lucky to have found a job where what I did in my private life did not impact my career and vice versa.

I think we all eventually gravitate to our people, our tribe and find our safe place. It is when you venture out that you have to remember that everyone is an outcast somewhere and some way. That is why it is good to always have a rock to help you find your way "home" no matter where you are. This site has a lot of rocks for me...I feel connected to many of you...

I've never fit in anywhere. Even in my successful career I was a social outcast. I only barely fit in here.

As I read your list of people above who don't fit in, I was glad to see myself at the end: children of alcoholics.

I never felt I fit in because I was a sensitive artsy misfit who was easily picked on when I was growing up. Didn't start to really connect with people until I got to college; one of my friends there said I was an "old soul" and that always stuck with me. I could pick out a lot of BS, although I didn't want to because I always envied people who seemed to sail through life when I couldn't.

You belong to this planet, they are the ones that should be somewhere else in another universe. I stopped trying to belong or be accepted some generations ago. So as I am I go until I went for good. Heart hard as a rock, Brain unabridged and undeclared. Flesh sweet as honey. So I am the Prince of Santurce, The Gypsy of the New Spain, Never Afraid of being Some Jerk Pain in the Butt.

p.s. Isabel Allende is One of the Best Writers in this Planet.

Ever been at a campfire and when you sit down by it with everyone else, have the smoke of the fire follow you around the the fire no matter where you sat to get away from it? Well, that's me.

"You need to dumb down your conversation," a man said within 10 minutes of meeting. "Men are intimidated by your intelligence and class." I was appalled.

"Speak for yourself," I replied firmly. "Obviously, you are intimidated by my intelligence. I refuse to act stupid to mollify the insecure ego of a sexist man."
(Slam dunk)

It turned into a hilarious evening for me. Over dinner, I interviewed him, drawing him out. He bitterly resented his female supervisor. He flew to Russia to find a subservient bride. "None of the girls would go home with me," he said sadly.

I laughed and gave him a mini-lecture on Title VII of the Civil Rights Act.

By the end of the evening, he wasn't speaking to me.

That went well.

Big hug. I was adopted and am very different from my family. Childhood in the suburbs where blending in is the easiest path was hell. I know from reading many of your posts that you have a mind and opinions; this should be something you cherish and embrace. Not being one of the sheep people is wonderful!

Awesome honey