Can't imagine what possessed him to make such a claim!

I happened to be visiting Heaven that day and clearly saw the little guy shouting: "Jesus Christ, what happened!" It was a favorite expresion he picked up from his religious family and had heard his grandmother shout on several occasions through his grandparents' bedroom door. Well, as it happened, Jesus was just walking through the pearly gates, back from a long day of entering hearts and personal savioring and heard the little darling shouting.

It was immediately clear the kid had been involved in a wreck, so Jesus reattached an arm and stuffed an eyeball back in place; good as new! So, he lifts the boy onto his knee gives him some holy water and explains to the lad that he was only supposed to go through the windshield NOT the pearly gates and wouldhave to go back home.

Just then, while sitting on Jesus' knee, sudden vertigo caused the kid to fall off. The kid looks up and shouts: "Jesus Christ! what did you put in this water?"

Well, there happened to be a big Gay wedding going on that day and they had, understandably, run out of wine. Jesus said, "Sorry kid, I forgot thou wert holding thy chalice whence they fetched me the jars." That's the way Jesus talks. Ask any Baptist.

So, Jesus picked the kid up, stuffed the eye back for the second time and summoned the uber of all ubers to return him to the hospital. I caught the ride along because of runniing late getting back to earth in time for Ramadan.

What an ungrateful little bastard!