Body language

This is a pretty specific scenario. You need to say something. How about find out what the normal coffee order and be intentional and bring another cup to them and say “ hey, I realize we tend to cross paths here. I e ordered you another cup of ...... would you mind if I joined you”. Not saying anything is the worst. Then you never know?

I had someone notice a book of Slyvia Plath's letters I had on my table ata coffee shop and he ended up striking up a convo with me that turned into a 2 month off and on phone conversation. Didn't go anywhere because he got mad I told him I was polyamorous and one day just out and tried to shame me for it.

I was so pissed and we fought and never spoke again. Which was a shame because he was so cute.

Try looking at someone and smile. Eye contact. Then say hi

I usually sit down and say 'don't look up but I have a gun pointed at you under the table'....

I get where your coming from , how does a man approach a woman . Without seeming like a phsycopath???

Simple answer: you don't. Roll the dice, and stay on your toes.

Be yourself
Ask for what you want
Use your head:

• Pay attention
• Be respectful
• Don't make assumptions

Do what you said you usually do. Then apply the above. It's not rocket science. You're on the right track, actually.

If you're too dense too pick up that the person is sweating bullets over a crunch-time work spreadsheet--or attempting a much-needed unplugging from humanity in the chapter of a book--after an exchange of a dozen or less words, then you'te not ready for this level; you've got homework to do.

Likewise, if someone is too inhibited to speak up for themselves and say, "I'm not interested in chatting right now" and instead beats around the bush getting cross and terse with you--instead of just being honest and direct--then they've got work to do, and that's no one you want to mess with anyway.

It's not a sin to try talking to someone.* Period.

It's not a sin to say, "I don't feel like talking." Period.

This kind of thing gets blown way out of proportion. People on all sides need to lighten up about it.

• Disclaimer: this statement assumes that people are reasonable grown-ups who have the sense to check non-verbals before attempting to start a conversation, and have the tact to avoid starting a conversation with a person whose non-verbals clearly say "I don't want to interact", such as headphones in, hood up, eyes down, arms crossed, etc. This writer (for better or worse) generally assumes that people are not complete morons and don't need their hands held through every little subtlty of life.

Tough one. I try to read the person's body language first. If that looks like a green light, I'll pick a non intrusive observation about the venue/the food/whatever. If that leads to any kind of engagement, then I go with my gut. I got talking to a woman at a Slowdive concert in Sydney a couple of months ago, and we went for a drink after the gig. It didn't go anywhere but that was not the point of the exercise - it was making a connection, and it only happened because I chanced my arm.

I usually go a complicated route and say something like; "Hi ! How ya doing?".

The reaction tells all.
Usually a direct look and vocal answer depending on tone says, " I'm listening.
Nods and back to what they are doing tells me, leave them be.

Everyone is different. There are no rules. I think the best thing to do, after saying "hello", is
"would you like to chat?". The direct approach is usually the best approach.
It also allows for a "yes" or "no" reply.

"Hi, may I ask what book you're reading?" Look for open ending responses that give you room to build on. Ask open ended questions and if you get "yes" or "no" with nothing to follow up on they're not interested

I struggle with this too. I've been told to simply start by asking how they are doing. I couldn't tell you where to go from there. But I would assume you can tell a lot in facial expressions. Even asking if they are busy might work. Good luck!

Very good question. Perhaps everyone should ware badges to indicate their mood. "I'm friendly, come over and have a chat." and "Bugger off, I'm grumpy!"