Where I got Claire.
"Where did you get her?" people asked about my daughter Claire. "Where is she from?"
Let me be clear: adoption is a wonderful thing. But Claire was not adopted. She simply inherited the golden skin, black eyes and black hair of her Latino father, while I have skin the color of library paste.
The problem is Claire was constantly being made to feel like the "other."
"From my uterus," I replied brightly with a smile. Almost looked forward to saying it. It was breezy, surprising, and it stopped people in their tracks.
Best of all, I was teaching Claire to stand up for herself with grace and wit and then move along.
Photo: Claire, 6-1/2, was sick of taking pictures. Trying on the gypsy Halloween costume I made for her.
She couldn't keep her hands off my garnet bead necklaces. The string broke and the beads scattered, luckily indoors. Her dad found every bead and had them restrung for me. That's the last time I let Claire use my good jewelry for a costume.
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8 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.My snappy comeback to the next round of busybodies who asked, "When will you have your next child?"
"We decided one is a nice round number," I said with a smile. That stopped them. While they puzzled, I moved along.
LiterateHiker
Level 9
Apr 6, 2020
2
From what little experience I have reading your posts, I’m sure she has her mother’s courage, tenacity, and critical thinking skills. Three of my favorite qualities in a human being.
Chevre_Sournois
Level 6
Apr 5, 2020
4
You're right. Thank you so much.
what a beautiful relationship ,,my ex wife was Italian,and she had two children 5 and 7 when we meet and married and there father also was itialian like your daughter olive skin and jet black hair ,very beautiful they wil be 50 and 48 this year,how time flies and I have 5 grandchildren from them
RoyMillar
Level 9
Apr 5, 2020
2
She is GORGEOUS!!! 
TattedIrishXx
Level 5
Apr 5, 2020
1
Thanks for that. A caveat:
"What gorgeous hair!" people gushed. "Look at all that hair!" So she wouldn't get conceited, I did braids, a ponytail or put a hat on her.
Character is more important than appearance, I taught her.
"Mama, can I play with my Barbies if I promise not to hate my body?" Claire asked earnestly at six, looking up at me with her big dark eyes.
"You got the message!" I laughed. "Of course you can." I refused to buy Claire Barbie dolls. But well-meaning, unevolved mothers from daycare gave Claire five Barbies for Christmas.
Athletics are important for girls. Sports build strength and confidence. Girls need to see their bodies as strong and capable, not just an ornament on some guy's arm.
We started with parent-child swimming lessons at six months. Claire did one sport every year: swimming was ongoing, tumbling, downhill skiing, tennis (ongoing since age 3), horse riding, basketball (5 years) and karate (5 years). Claire chose the sport. But we expected her to stick with it for one year. Tennis is her passion.
Also she had two years of piano lessons, followed by two years of violin.
Like her dad, Claire was a #1 varsity doubles tennis team player in high school for four years. Claire and her dad have plaques in the high school gym, 40 years apart.
From the defiance in those eyes I'd say you were successful 
Cyklone
Level 7
Apr 5, 2020
4
@Ccklone
Claire, 6-1/2, was sick of taking pictures. She was wearing the gypsy Halloween costume I made her.
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