Why the fuck would I spend good money for someone to torture my soon-to-be ex, when I can just enjoy doing it myself, lol?
Only once in my life have I seriously considered paid intervention to end a relationship: he was a sociopath, narcissist, and violent. That would have been an assassin, or a ‘Goodbye Earl’; he already had so many side chicks, hiring more would have made no difference. Again, though, I might have considered doing it myself, but I was afraid he’d wake up and I’d be the one in need of an obituary.

Geez, really? Some relationships can get that bad?