I don't know why nothing ever starts up. But as long as I don't know, I can always pretend there's a chance.

One of the reasons I decided to be here for community, and not to meet someone, is because the men who would contact me wanted to move far too fast. If I have learned nothing from internet relationships of all kinds, it's that it's way too easy to hide one's true character. Even if I met someone local who was decent and attractive, I would not be in any hurry to share my whole life with them. There seem to be an awful lot of men my age who want a woman to commit to the whole package right away, usually at the emotional, physical, or financial expense of the woman. Things don't work that way anymore. We have options now.

First question one should ask themselves is where is this going to lead? If one is looking for a committed relationship any lies or obfuscations in the communication will be found out so it's best to be open and honest and that should be spelled out at the onset. My late partner and I were separated by a long distance (she Dallass and I Seattle). She was an extreme extrovert and I a 'recovering' introvert and we spent 2 full months talking (only) on the phone. We talked for hours and sometimes several times on weekends and felt it was a done deal. A strong base was established. When we were to finally meet she wanted a romantic scene and told me to look for a woman with her back turned (we had each shared 1 picture). I saw her and touched her and she turned and looked at me. Then she scanned me from top to bottom and her smile changed. She then said "and how long are you planning on staying (I was staying with a sister who lived near her home)? It turned out my Seattle 'casual' clothes did not meet her idea of proper dress (she worked part time at Burberry's and Dallass is a very superficial city). We each agreed that if we had met any other way (a party or event) we would not have gotten together. Luckily,our base was strong and we were able to transcend the negative initial chemistry and went on to spend 16 wonderful years together.
I learned then and there that there is a real benefit to long distance relationships when there is ample communication.

You bring up some interesting points. A couple of years ago, I entered the 65+ dating pool (!) I have found that at this age, if two people are covert about their personalities and past, then they may be truly hiding something unpleasant. I love to throw undue politeness out the window. A person would present themselves as a real stiff if they couldn't interact naturally upon meeting. I feel, and I would hope a prospective date would feel, confident enough about who they are, in order to share that freely with another. The hell with being cold, aloof and overly civilized! A little flirtiness and innuendo go along way. Politeness and a caring personality do too. I never would have expected to meet the people I have in the last two years; it's been a wonderful experience.