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"Love knows no distance." Was my reply too snarky?

Today I got a message from a man in Phoenix, Arizona on Fitness Singles. A golfer, he's looking for a woman who loves golf. That's not me. Instead of saying "I hate golf," I replied:

What's your plan? Fly to Wenatchee, WA every two weeks so we can get to know each other? I didn't think so.

I love Dave Barry's joke about golf:

"Fishing is very similar to golf because in both sports you hold a long skinny thing in your hand while nothing happens for days at a time."

Good luck with your search during the pandemic.

Kathleen

LiterateHiker 9 Dec 17
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14 comments

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1

I had this experience 3 times this summer: driving an hour to meet women who were likewise driving an hour to meet me. What we all had in common: we aren't finding anyone suitable in our own locales.

In each case we knew the distance was probably too far for anything to develop, but GEE, ISN'T IT GOOD TO MEET SOMEONE NICE FOR A CHANGE. It's reassuring to discover that there are good candidates out there - nice people - people who restore our sense of self-worth. The fact that they're too far away is secondary. What's critical is to be appreciated once in a while. A little appreciation neutralizes a lot of rejections.

1

Once upon a time I tried to find any way of not considering golf the most boring thing on the planet. I can see why so many golfers are also heavy drinkers.

Deb57 Level 8 Dec 19, 2020
1

Mark Twain said Golf was a waste of a good walk. Me personally...I'd rather pull my fingernails out than play golf.......as for fishing.....I'd rather go in to a Coma. or is there a difference???

1

I was the controller of a local country club for a short while. Took a while for a few of the members to realize that I wasn't a fan. Thankfully they never understood the full extent. 😀 I was just there for a job, when they wouldn't fulfill part of the contract for taking the job, I moved on.

1

You wouldn't consider taking up golf (grrrrr-olf) and flying to Phoenix every two weeks?

@nicestuff

I grew up on a lake in Michigan with a golf course on one side of the house. Five houses down from the first tee.

Over 18 years, I saw enraged men heave their golf bag and clubs into the pond and stomp away.

Golf always struck me as an asinine, frustrating sport. In terms of exercise quality, it's close to coma.

@LiterateHiker
Now those are passionate golfers!

One could fish out the equipment and sell it ... A little golf, a little fishing.

@nicestuff

My parents and brother Lee became certified scuba divers. Lee scuba-dived in the golf pond and resold golfer's clubs. All four of us kids were enterprising.

We "down-stayed" our dog Lady on the yard facing the golf course. Golf balls plopped around the dog. Well-trained Lady didn't move. Golfers took one look at the black, 100-pound Labrador retriever and moved on.

After releasing Lady, we collected the balls. Ran down Golfside Drive (where we lived) and sold the golf balls back to the golfers for 50 cents. "Have you got a Titlest?" Yes.

2

Golf is a good walk. Spoiled.

  • Mark Twain

@KKGator

Perfect. I love it!

@LiterateHiker Yes. He certainly knew how to turn a phrase.
Eminently quotable.
😁

1

Wenatchee has its charms, I'm sure that's what he meant.

@GeorgeRocheleau

And I am one of Wenatchee's charms. HA.

@LiterateHiker And to think I didn't notice you when I was there.

1

I agree with Carlin. Golf is not just idiotic, but racist.
Your response was apt.

@skeptic70

Thanks.

1

WHY would anyone in their right mind do either of these,
Cricket, Stand out in the middle of a patch of grass, holding a bit of wood and trying hit a ball that someone else throws at you, or,
Golf, drag around a bag full of junk so you can TRY to hit a little white ball into a hole in the ground so you can walk up to the hole, collect your ball and then do the exact same over and over again another 17 or times?
At least Aussie Queenslanders 'invented' a newer version of 'golf'.
They usually play it night and call it Cane Toad golf the plus is that you ONLY need 1 club and you ARE performing a service to the Environment as well.

1

You do know how to be upfront and to the point at times,why we love you

@RoyMillar

Thank you. I laughed out loud while writing my reply. Fini.

@LiterateHiker laughing is very healthy for you

1

Golf and Cricket, "only fools, mad dogs and Englishmen got out in the noon day sun."

6

Mark Twain: "Golf is a good walk spoiled".

1

Good answer.

6

".... you hold a long skinny thing in your hand while nothing happens for days at a time..." Is it just me, or does this sound like a guy who needs a Viagra prescription?

Or am I being (more than usually) uncouth?

good one

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