I have doubts quite often,always 2nd guessing my self and over riding my first intuition which i am trying to not to do as it is usually always right ,putting ones self down way to much also when you should be praising your self no matter how little

Nobody/nothing lives forever........a fact that has nothing to do with silly myths.

No. The thought never crosses my mind.

Never

All knowledge of gods comes from books written by man. Once you understand this, and especially in Christianity, how the books were selected and put together how could you ever have any doubt? I know this and it does not stop me from being sorry for your loss. I'm sure she was a special person.

I’ve come to realise, I am simply experiencing awe.

So sorry for your loss. I don’t believe that anything fantastical purported to be the truth in any religious book or teachings is actually true. It’s all made up by very real humans trying to justify superstitions. That’s why the tenets keep adapting to societal changes. If the truth is unwavering, why adapt?
But, I’m not willing to be so arrogant as to believe there can’t be “anything.” Not a heaven, hell, or a god that just happens to look like paintings of Zeus, another mythical figure. But, when you think about it, humans and humanity are awe inspiring in good ways - you had someone special in your life - and in bad - you feel sadness that they’re gone.
Yes, it’s all physiological and scientific. For anyone who’s read Dan Brown’s last book, Langdon is asked if he believes there’s a god. Paraphrasing his response he says we now know DNA are the building blocks of every living thing. But what created DNA?

My experience has nothing to do with religion, but I lost a virtual brother, to cancer, some years ago, 2008. He was also an atheist, and proud that through all his cancer travails, he never did the "There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole," thing.
He died in Oct. 2008, and I, and his wife were at his side, each holding one of his hands, talking to him.
Three Super Bowls later, at his house during half-time, sitting at a small table, with his wife, by then remarried, and her new husband, and his bother, as we chatted, my small aperitif glass slid some 4-5 inches right in front of me. The table was not wet, the glass was not wet, nothing else moved, bumped, or slid. I grabbed he glass, asking if anyone else had seen it move. His wife said, "That was Stuart."
My spin, maybe there is something else,and Stu was trying to tell me so. If so, it does not mean, to me, that there is a god-thing.
Religion developed from the human need to make sense of the randomness within which we live.