Crap. My story just crashed and burned because the site timed out and I didn't notice. I'm not going to write it again today. Maybe tomorrow, if the mood strikes.

Ok - you want stories ...

In keeping with the general theme so far, I'll give you one (of many) from my animal hospital years (of which there are also many) :

Picture a large cross-breed dog , about 75 pounds, that is now up on the examining table, while several of us are looking the dog over, holding it still - paying special attention to it's back end, and the anal abscess that the owner says is present.

For those not familiar - in dogs and cats, there are small glands on either side of the anus that regularly produce a foul smelling liquid that is usually emptied during a bowel movement. It also might be pushed out if the animal is excited, or being attacked. Kind of like a skunk.
Sometimes these glands get blocked, the liquid turns to a concentrated paste, and "festers". It's especially nasty then, and requires antibiotics to clear up the mess.

So while all this poking and prodding is going on, I'm near the back end just as the abscess suddenly bursts, and... you guessed it... I am hit with a glob right on the cheek, with a tiny bit on my lower lip. My first thought was "don't lick your lips !!!!!!" - which is often a kneejerk reaction to feeling something splash on one's lips.

And don't retch ! Almost though ...almost.
Just another day working with critters !

I hid under the bed. I over slept the curfew. We were suppose to be on base by midnight. The north Vietnamese came into town then and did their thing. I heard them moving around. I was scared. I made to base the next morning..ugh!

I was in town. At the end of the night. She asked if i smoked. Sure I do. I smoked that home roll. 15 seconds, it couldnt walk. I give a driver of the cart 5 dollars to get me back to base in a hurry. His calves look like they were going to explode. I did all I could to walk straight as I entered the base gate. Man... I was so young and stupid. The zips could of rolled me in town....again.

Ummmm...I better not. Can't incriminate myself.

I want to storm the White House with a large cleaning crew, to attempt to rid it of the stench from the trash inhabiting it.

You seem to be the aspiring writer in this group. You have managed to capture our attention with your wit and turn of a phrase. With a little thought, you could make chopping would riveting.

The platform is all yours.

No, I don't have any extravagant stories.

Well there is this one time I cleaned with bleach...