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Do you feel any kind of self-restriction in this site? And do you feel lucky that you have found this site?

Please feel free to share. And I request All to not judge anyone.
Thanks.

heetendra 5 Apr 27
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29 comments

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5

I have really enjoyed this site, and the people I've met here. As for self-restriction, I sometimes get into that downward spiral, and probably overshare. At best, at least I am being honest. At worst, I've probably put a few people off (or had a few become concerned about my well being). So in my case, a little more self-editing is probably called for.

5

When I first found this site, I came with the assumption that the participants would be significantly more intelligent than the usual sites. However to my disappointment, I have not found that to be true. Some here are very intelligent, some are not.

That's the thing about assumptions and expectations, isn't it? One usually always ends up being disappointed.

Depends on how you define 'intelligent,' dunnit?

@KKGator And just plain old disappointment.

@memorylikeasieve No, there are scores on tests that will indicate how intelligent someone is relative to other people. Aside from that, a person's ability to construct logical arguments and sentence structure gives them away. For the scope of my interest in this forum, I have no interest in the theoretical elements of musical-rhythmic, body-kinesthetic, etc. In short, I want to pick the brains of persons from whom I may learn something and have found too many fools here. That for me is problematic...if you pick the brain of a fool, you only get fool berries.

@memorylikeasieve yes, those mensa test results haven't got back yet 😉

@dahermit Your disappointment over your unmet expectations and your dissatisfaction with the members here, begs the question, why do you continue to frequent the site?

@KKGator Why do you think I do?

@dahermit I don't. That's why I asked.

4

More like self restraint than self restriction for me.... I mean come on... have you seen the bevy of magnificent ladies that are members here!

4

Generally speaking, I feel no self-restriction. The only times I self-censor are when I'm particularly aggravated and trying not to cuss too much in my responses. I'm not saying I won't, because I absolutely do. I'm just saying I try to keep 'fuck' from being every other word, but that's primarily out of a sense of wanting to be civil.
As far as feeling "lucky" about having found the site, I don't think luck had anything to do with it.
However, I'm glad AF to have found it. It's a much needed outlet.

Alrighty...

4

Once in a while I’d like to bluntly tell an intentionally combative or antagonistic schmuck to take a flying fuck through a rolling donut, but not doing so is about my only self-imposed restriction. ???

I value this community.

For those who make me wanna say the donut thing more than once, I disappear them from my screen.

I wanna steal that phrase.

3

As with all public sites - there's good points and bad, and the posts/comments run the gamut of wise, interesting and witty, to hateful, to unnecessarily argumentative, to totally inane and useless. Self-restriction ? Nah !

However, I do enjoy the refreshing conversations minus the ever-present, and often highly annoying god factor !

There a few people here that are super elitist about it too!

3

I realize this is a dating website and I'm not really in a position to date, so just been using it to amuse myself.

It's not only for dating by any means - but also for discussion and community ! There are many on here who are not seeking partners.

@evergreen There is a remote chance I could meet someone compatible on this website, but not likely since I'm currently living in Thailand, and plan to return to Lexington, KY, to live near my daughter when I move back.

Hard enough to find anyone compatible on this website, much less someone who happens to live near Lexington and happens to love dancing, horses, birding, ballet, etc. Most cis hetero men I know are couch potatoes, eat junk food, don't do much of anything, watch sports, drink beer, are totally boring. I'd rather be single.

Me too, Im not dating anyone atm but have so many irons in the fire I don't have time for a man in my life.

@Scoobs Yeah..you do have an impressive profile, except that I'm also 65 years old! And an ageist snob (sigh).

3

I keep having this terrible feeling of deja vu heheheh

3

No. Less assholes than defacedbook. And I never twit...

3

Theres those opinions and then theres apples and oranges...lol. most people judge a book by its cover. A cool looking book probably has the right answer... lol. Thats probably why people pay more attention to the pretty / handsome person.
As an old fart that just wants to get along. Im just trying to fit in. Im the average looking guy. So i don't think people are searching me out for the truth as i see it. I know something about sexual harassment and ive been married 3 times. I learned sexual harassment from my jobs and i can tell you where i screwed up in my marriages. That would be my experience and knowledge through failure and success. Its all the same reasoning i chose to be agnostic. Yes... i feel lucky i found this site.

I've always valued your opinions, Bob, and your presence here.

@KKGator. Awww shucks... Thank you KK. Your cool too.

3

I've got a lot of unpopular opinions but I don't have to keep quite as many of them quiet, here.

3

Yeah, and I'm biting my tongue now. 😛

3

Self-restriction? I don't practice that.

2

Restriction, yes. There obviously is a character limitation for the posts, which I was not warned about prior.

2

I LOVE THIS SITE! This is amazing to be able to speak openly about my disbelief and not have to defend myself to others. It is so wonderful!

2

Nah, I'm not here to impress. Being completely honest any myself has brought me the best friends I've made. You'll end up pretending to be someone else and one day the lie will fail.

2

I do feel some restrictions. I have found that there are some pretty touchy people on here who seem to take offense easily. And because I'm not an atheist, this site at times seems pretty abrasive, with a negative vibe. (I agree with rogeralyn that the site leans toward atheist.)

On the whole, though, it's okay.

marga Level 7 Apr 27, 2018

Im an atheist and I have no problem with Non Atheists as long as they are not trying to convert me to the ways of Jesus Amen! I think most folks here are accepting as well with that same caveat. I was contacted by a Christian JW the other day via messenger intent on finding his soul mate and converting her(me it seems, I wasnt feeling the love however) and he said his daughter had gotten him on the site, he quit sending messages as soon as I pointed out that if his daughter sent him here then she was most likely one of us heathens and like minded. I don't think that ever occurred to him before. I then reported him and the site removed him. You are in no danger.

1

Some minor self-restriction. I have a tendency to overshare if I don't watch myself a little. On the other hand, I want to be real.

I found out the other day that the site censors curse words, but not all of them. I think I can get away with ass, but not the f-bomb. I confess, the f-bomb is my favorite curse word, so now I am self-censoring that ... or figuring out various ways to get around it.

vita Level 7 Apr 27, 2018

"F-bomb" seems to work! Carry on! 🙂

So does ƒuck.

@vita Fuck works for me. You just can't beat a well placed 'FUCK'! Damn that felt good. ?

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

It was definitely being censored several days ago.

1

the outstanding deliciousness of this site, are the questions...LOVE people who are not afraid to ask, especially after time in a religious setting where being told, "you do not have the right to question!"

1

Only in that I was to be accurate and coherent usually. Otherwise I acknowledge that people are, (on the whole), interested strangers and pitch my comments as such.

1

Yes, I feel self-restriction. A lot of times, my default response is derogatory. So, I edit my comments ahead of time so my comments are presented with less confrontation. I feel incredibly lucky to have found this site.

1

No and yes

1

It's as much a dating site as any other group.
Random shot at hitting it off with someone if that's what one is looking for.
I enjoy reading people's opinions, experiences, thoughts.
I like the profile set-up.
Variety of topics.
Much less antagonistic posting and commenting.

1

Yes. But I say it anyway, and block the trolls. I've done this so much, fewer of them are showing up when I say something controversial, like mentioning gender issues and teleportation, etc.

1

Lucky, very lucky... something to do while you are supposed to be doing something else.

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