Mine dragged it out as far as he could and he finally gave up after 2.5 yrs. Still won't follow the terms of the decree, so my one retirement account sits there in de minimus while he tries to call my mom to convince me to retire early because for him to pay his lawyer to do what he's required to do to claim a part of it would cost more than he would receive. I left him everything and only took what of my own possessions that I could fit into four cars when I left. He tried to get me for alimony despite making 3 times what I made, he tried to take my car that I'd made every payment on, and the list goes on. I refused them all and continued to refuse. My lawyer pointed that out once to the judge and she agreed, he had no right to anything since he had the house that I had half rebuilt after flooding, etc. This was a judge that we'd had to ship in from two hours away, after every judge in the county either voluntarily recused themselves or they were forced to as in the case of one that had been his divorce attorney on his previous one and the other that had been a family friend.

The previous ex....hasn't talked to his kids in 25 years, they gave up on him. Last time he had them, he called them a disruption and forced me to get them early. I don't understand some people. I tried to make up for his absence, always have. I'm the one that taught them both how to change their oil, I help my son work on his old historical car, etc.

I think I'll stay single...it's less stressful and I prize my peace.

With my divorce, we just agreed. No.lawyers. except to draw up the divorce papers. Cheap! I gave him the house, and walked away a free woman. He squandered most of the money from the sale of the house, and that was that. We're still friends, but I haven't given him any more money. Our sons were sad, but as adults they understood. We waited until they grew up.

Sometimes the smartest things you can do are the things you don't do.

After deciding to divorce, my wife agreed to seek a mediated settlement and went to a counselor to start the process. About a month later, after discussing it with her father, she lawyered up forcing me to do likewise. I'm certain her father paid for her lawyer, but I was disgusted at how little her word meant. She lied about critical issues throughout the marriage, so I wasn't surprised.

It's a horrible process, made worse by a legal industry that sets policy in favor of the lawyers. The term 'No-fault' really just means "screw the breadwinner".