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Did you take your kids to church when they were little?

I chose to take my kids to church when they were young for a couple of reasons.

  1. My parents "sent" me to church rather than go with me; I didn't want to do that to my kids.
  2. In the bible belt, that's what southern society expected.
  3. As a single parent of 3, I got a break several times each week.
    Along the way, I somehow managed to teach them to think for themselves, question everything and make their own conclusions based on logic and reason. Do they always? Of course not, but they do know it's good to step back and mull something over.
    I'm happy to say that my 3 kids have minds of their own. One of my sons (22) is agnostic/anti-religion, one is agnostic/anti-religion/borderline atheist (24) and my daughter (19) is investigating Wicca.
    I am agnostic/anti-religion/borderline atheist.
    Finally, how did y'all handle your kids?
  • 4 votes
  • 14 votes
tendaheart2 4 Apr 28
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14 comments

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0

I worked in a church for eight years. I always thought it would make me happy and successful. I grew up in the church. My parents volunteered there for many years. The hypocrisy is real. I got to the point where I walked out and didn't go back.

0

Yes, I did. My ex was insistent on it. My kids are grown and I have been away from her for over 3 years now.

1

Both my kids are young, my oldest turns 7 next month and our youngest is 6 months. So this doesn't apply to us yet... Im actually kind of debating this internally and that's why I am reading your comments here, to gain some insight. I was raised secular and as a kid when we lived in Canada it was never an issue but when we moved to texas it became difficult. I was called a witch all through school and told I should be burned at the stake like in the old days! Now, my husband is still a believer raised devout catholic (he had even considered becoming a priest as a teen) but after he took a religion class in college his thoughts on religion changed completely. He is more anti religious than I am. Our oldest son has only gone to church for two funerals and now when we pass a church he says "thats where people go when they die" I explained that people go for other reasons besides that. Hubbys family like to go on about how we need to baptise the boys and I say "Jesus was the son of god and wasnt baptised until his 30s so I think they will be okay" that usually stops it. The thing with our oldest son is hes very matter of fact and doesn't believe things just because people say it. He demands proof! Often times he corrects me on certsin things, which I hapen to appreciate. He has never believed in Santa Claus, even when my parents went out of their way to convince him. He even told me "if an old man comes in our house like that even to give us presents hes a criminal and should be in jail!" Then told me he didn't think it sounded true. So I know were we to try to take him to church he would ask for proof and that would be grounds for then to run him ofd. Besides that my husband says he doesnt want our boys to feel the guilt and shame he had grown up carrying from his catholic upbringing. When I met my husband he told me "the only thing I am afraid of is god" and I remember saying "I feel bad for you, it has to be hard to love something you fear". I don't want our boys to have a hard time being brought up without church while in school in the south but maybe in the long run it will be better. I am glad my parents raised me to think for myself, to question everything and take accountibility for my own actions. Most of all I am thankful they taught me to believe in myself. It was hard for a few years in school but it was better than growing up scared.

1

Oh, yes. I was a practicing Catholic at the time. The boys attended Catholic school. They received all the sacraments. They did put the brakes on for Confirmation, though. Our oldest boy was shocked by the clergy scandal. We do not discuss religion so, I am not sure where they stand now.

0

I would let my mom take my kids when they were little, but they never maintained interest. Neither of my kids display any interest in religion. I prefer to let them think for themselves, though I'm glad they're more skeptical than I was at their age.

1

Absolutely not.

1

I did for a couple of reasons. When he was little church services provided a weekly 2 hour break that I desperately needed. Plus my mom bribed me with restaurant meals tbat I couldn't afford.

Both my son and I are atheists. I credit the church for teaching us that religion is BS and there are no gods.

0

Yes, I took her to as many different denominations as possible so she could see for herself that there are good people in pretty much every environment and that religious differences were nonsense. We went to numerous churches and studied as many different cultural beliefs as possible, tracing them back to the origins. We discussed the inconsistencies, the common denominators and the history of wars involving religious differences. I truly wanted her to know all the teachings, the history of those teachings and make her own choices. As a result she is now able to help her friends be more critical in their thinking because she accepts them but not their programming and knows exactly what they believe so they cannot accuse her of being ignorant or use bible quotes to try and manipulate her.

0

No. And raised them clearly expressing my views on religion and the god concept.

0

Never had kids, so I can't comment As my wife and I were atheists the kids would not have been forced to go to any religious organization. But being liberal in my views, if they had asked to go I would have allowed them to. Happened to a good friend, sadly proselytized when she got to college, I knew her well, and it might be best to say college educated or not she was not the sharpest tool in the shed!

1

Absolutely dId not, would not, no way relIgIon was goIng to make me the bad guy to practIcIng chIld abuse.

I understand that. I'm just happy that my choice of taking them to church didn't negatively affect them. They have no guilt which makes me happy. I was taught to feel guilty. It easily could have been different. They all are comfortable with telling others they are agnostic.

1

I have one daughter and did take her to church. However, neither my parents nor I pushed religion down our/her throats.

Does she still go?

@tendaheart2 Unfortunately, yes. Long story but her mother and I were separated by half a world (geographically) and she had too much influence on her and got her hooked into religion. I took her to Catholic church now she goes to some mega Protestant church. However, she knows I am a non-believer and I freely express my ideas. She even spent time with me at the FFRF convention when it was in LA (close to where she lives). If I don't push she might start practicing a bit of critical thinking on her own. Also, she had huge respect for my late partner. Her acceptance of death with no thought of an afterlife greatly impressed my daughter.

1

I took my kids if they asked...it was usually following a sleepover with a religious family and never resulted in more than a few instances for curiosity's sake..

R1LEY Level 2 Apr 28, 2018

Any particular denomination or different ones?

@tendaheart2 the area in which we lived was religion lite...Presbyterian, Lutheran Catholic etc...

2

Despite my parents both coming from different religions, they never practiced them and never pushed them. They were very "live and let live" about it and let us find our own way in that area. I had my own period of religious "discovery" (recruitment) and rejection (my rejection of religion). By the time my kids came along I was already an Atheist. I have encouraged them to do their own investigation of religion and decide for themselves. My daughter has mostly followed in my footsteps on this and my son is more reserved with his opinion, but I believe he either doesn't believe, or seriously questions.

My dad occasionally went to church with me and my sisters. My mom never went to church. We lived in the country so church was one place we were always allowed to go. Because my parents were the "send the kids to church" kid of parents, I chose to take mine because at the time, I felt it important to give them a religious education and then allow them to make their own decisions. For me, it worked out.

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