Dear Dr Ag
I am thinking about leaving what I have come to view as a toxic/abusive relationship. I first came across Donald in 2015. I had self-esteem issues at the time which were exasperated by him telling me I was indeed in really bad shape. I believed him when he said that not only could he make things better but make things great! To be honest, after he became part of my life, things did look great at first. Finances seemed to be on the up (I since have discovered that he was maxing out our credit and giving money to his friends) All the time he was telling me what a great job he was doing and how much the people at work loved him. Then his job gave him a formal warning. Something to do with an inappropriate phone call that he maintained was "perfect". It did lead to him being slightly demoted in 2018 but Donald told me it was just some troublemakers at work and because he was so tremendously good at his job it was bound to cause some jealousy. I believed him even though I had caught him out lying on so many occasions, he was my man and I was going to stand by him.
Then COVID came. At first, Donald told me it was nothing to be afraid of and that it will all be over by easter. He would keep us safe. Then he got COVID himself. Not only that but I think he gave it to lots of our friends. To top it all off, it could not have come at a worse time as he was up for a re-interview for his job. (you have to re-apply every 4 years but normally this is just a formality) Well, he did not get taken on again and was told to work out his 3-month notice. Donald was furious, He ranted on and on about traitors and how they had rigged the whole process to rob him of the job he was so good at. It was after that, he started asking me for money. He said it was to fight his case in court but the court cases seemed to be going nowhere. Not only that but the judges almost laughed at the nonsensical legal arguments he brought forth. (I don't know what he did with all the money I gave him but it couldn't have been on good quality lawyers). In the meantime, he did not go to work much, just played golf and moped around the house plotting with his cronies on "How he was going to get his job back". It finally came to a head a few days before he had to leave his job. He actually persuaded a lot of his friends to break into his boss's place of work and threaten them with violence if they didn't keep him on. The authorities were called and his friends are now being charged/convicted but as of now, he has not been although I suspect it will only be a matter of time.
We have since moved to Florida and all our time (and money) seems to be taken up with legal matters. If it is not one case it is another (so many I am losing count) Not only that but he also cost a lot of our friends' jobs at the same place by insisting that they tell everyone he was fired improperly. He has of course re-applied for his old job but quite honestly I cannot see him getting it back. Then last week I caught him having dinner with some very shady characters and I am worried he might try something stupid again.
What should I do Dr Ag? I trusted and loved this man for 6 years and now I find he has just been using me. I know I look stupid, maybe I should have listened when his ex-friends (inc. his own sister) told me how wrong the guy was but I was in love and he kept on telling me how everything was going to be great. I feel like such a fool but can I really abandon him when he needs me the most? What if he goes to jail? He will have no one.
Yours truly
The elephant in the room.