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The Rhythm of Love: 40 beats per minute

The rhythm of love: 40 beats per minute. When giving massage, my hands are slow and rhythmic, 40 to 50 strokes per minute. People groan with pleasure. During my divorce, I wanted one piece of furniture: the rocking chair in which I nursed baby Claire.

From the fascinating and funny book, “Women- An Intimate Geography,” by Natalie Angier.

"Oxytocin has been called the love hormone and the bonding hormone. It’s a dopy, wishful phrase, and a bit reductionist. Still, Oxytocin may be a player in the sensation of love.

“Think of a breastfeeding woman,” Kirsten Uvnas-Moberg of the- Karolinska Institute in Sweden said. She studies nursing mothers, in whom oxytocin is high. “Oxytocin is stimulating her milk letdown- that much is familiar. But milk ejection is only part of the story. Oxytocin, in concert with other peptides, expands blood flow to the breast. The engorgement turns the breast warm, warmer than it’s ever been. Heat radiates from the nursing woman. She feeds the baby fluids and bathes the baby in warmth.

“A mother does more than nurse and warm the baby. As she holds the baby, she strokes the infant to soothe it. ‘You know the right way to stroke somebody,” Uvnas-Moberg says. ‘You know what works and what doesn’t. If you do it like this, too fast, that doesn’t work either. But now, if you do this, if you stroke steadily and calmly, you know this is right, this is good and true.’ She strokes her arm rhythmically and as I watch, I feel vicariously stroked and soothed. ‘This rate is about forty strokes per minute. It is the same rate at which we stroke our pets.’ Oxytocin again enters the picture.

“A steady caress inveigles oxytocin secretion. The gentle rhythmic stroke is like the pulsing of a milk duct, like the rate at which the infant reflexively, rhythmically suckles at the breast. This is the rhythm of love: forty beats a minute.”

“The rhythm of love. Orgasm is another rhythmic sensation, and it too clocks in at about forty to fifty throbs a minute, and the uterus contracts during orgasm as it does in giving birth. Oxytocin’s frequency; oxytocin’s handiwork.

“In one study, women were asked to masturbate to climax; and their blood levels of oxytocin were measured before and after orgasm. The concentration of oxytocin climbed slightly but measurably with climax, and the greater the increase, the more pleasurable the women reported their climax to be. While breastfeeding, some women say they feel almost orgasmic, their uterus pulsing along with their milk ducts, with the baby’s suckling mouth.”

LiterateHiker 9 May 4
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I believe chemicals are the basis for all our emotions. To say a god loves you or any other feeling is to say gods are driven by chemicals. This is not possible which is why there are no gods. What is the cause of a mother not bonding with their child? This was the case with my first wife and our daughter.
Here is a question regarding orgasmic feelings. Ever have a bug bite that itched like crazy. Try running increasingly hot water over it. You eyes will roll and you might even shiver!!

Jack, you make is sound like people are walking nerve endings. When you choose to ride a roller coaster, adrenaline coursing through your body causes fear and excitement. But you choose how to react to that adrenaline rush. Scared or excited?

Taking a DEEP BREATH calms me.

Adrenaline evolved to help us survive.

"If 300,000 years ago (not sure the exact time) our primitive ancestors heard a rustle in the bushes we would run. The adrenaline would kick in, sending more blood to our arms and legs, and less to our stomach, helping run faster. Hence the light feeling you get in your stomach. This is when fear was an appropriate response to adrenaline because we didn't have time to see what it was. It could've been a saber tooth, wolf, etc...:

While hiking, I get a huge adrenaline rush walking a narrow, knife-edge trail with steep drop-offs on both sides. Or crossing a slippery log above lively rapids with sharp rocks and waterfalls.

This is appropriate. Adrenaline sharpens our thinking and makes us focus. DEEP BREATH. I mentally coach myself.

"You can do it," I think. "Take your time. One step at a time."

Emotional biochemistry: [experiencelife.com]

@LiterateHiker You sound like you truly enjoy your life. Kudos to you.

@LiterateHiker I sense another communication issue. I can't see how my comment implied walking nerve endings. One thing is we don't live 300,000 years ago and times have changed. Now it is not so much a physical response that is called for but a mental (and often emotional) one. When stress kicks in it is my stomach that gets hit so not everybody reacts the same. For me I don't need nor want an adrenaline rush and it does not sharpen my thinking (exercising my mind does). Also, I am not a risk taker; have never done drugs, or gambling or any other intense, mind/body endeavors. For me my biggest rush was when I (in the past) would play an intense game of racquetball. I guess that makes me a wimp and that's just fine with me. For me, what is important is emotional control. My late partner had a saying "discipline first then love" (reason over emotion). Funny but fear was not one of her emotions. She would actually use reason to heighten her emotions!

@LiterateHiker After reading the link I will say I totally agree on the mind-body phenomena. But what I need is meditation not risky challenges.

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Interesting post ... As a male I could never figure out why women appreciate to have her breasts sucked by their lover. Though I certainly appreciate the sucking and the fact that I don't have to consume the milk. When my ex fed our baby I tasted the stuff and was disappointed by the taste. Many years ago I read an article about Melanesian women who naturally walk around with their breasts uncovered. The article claimed that these women were insensitive to buccal stimulation when not lactating. Unfortunately I never had the opportunity to verify that claim.
What is your opinion? Was this article, probably not written by medical experts, right in that respect?

PontifexMarximus, What is my opinion about WHAT?

If you read Natalie Angier's book, you would realize it is based on scientific studies, with pages of footnotes citing the studies.

Did you mean Malaysian women? What is buccal stimulation?

Dictionary.com defines "buccal" as:

1.of or relating to the cheek.
2.pertaining to the sides of the mouth or to the mouth; oral.
3.Dentistry. directed toward the cheek.

@LiterateHiker I meant Melaesian ... The Pacific islands to the north and northeast of the Australia east coast

@LiterateHiker I meant when one sucks a woman's breast .. Sorry for my clumsy way of expressing it

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I can't keep up

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