As to how people convert, either to the Mormon church or any other religion, I do have an explanation...

Humans evolved as herd animals that instinctually gathered in groups for safety. Just because humans now live in cities instead of on the Savannah, doesn't mean our animals instincts aren't still active. Most people still feel an instinctual need to belong to a group. Their belonging, but itself, gives them an instinctual sense of safety, because we evolved to want to instinctually belong to a group/community.

So conversion to religion is driven by evolved animal instincts more than it is by any kind of intellectual drive. It is an emotional decision, not a rational one.

I still have 3 siblings who belong to the Mormon church. They have fun and enjoy their lives and have given u p on trying to get me and my apostate siblings to go back. It is a mystery to them why we did not find the same sense of belonging and security that they did. Although my Mormon brother did have a history of alcoholism and drug abuse, as he got older he returned and claims to be happy.

In the end my brother just sought to be accepted. None of my siblings trusts him, but he he is accepted in the local Ward out in Missouri, and he feels like he belongs. He of course settled where the people were as bigoted as himself, far beyond what was tolerated in the Los Angeles area of California where we grew up.

So, anyway, it is the instinctual driven need to belong that drive church membership and I guess also influences the community where a person ultimately settles down.

@snytiger6 Now that you've explained it, that makes total sense. My ex-husband always liked to feel he belonged in a group, whether a sports team, or whatever.

Before we divorced, he was already hanging out nearly every night with a Mormon lady friend, and he's still with her as his very close friend. He enjoys being around people.

He doesn't have an intellect (I'm not being rude, he simply wasn't a thinker) and so I guess the religion itself doesn't have to make sense to him. He just likes belonging to a group. That actually solves the puzzle my kids and I have been scratching our heads about! Thanks!

@Julie808 You are welcome. I am glad I managed to explain it well enough to make sense. Most people forget that humans are also animals, and as such have "animal instincts" which influence our behavior(s).

The Mormon church does manage to (mostly) fulfill a person's need for community and belonging. It didn't work for myself and two of my siblings, but my other three siblings believe they are happy.

My parents on the other hand... while they were alive, I don't think they were at all happy, and were very upset and confused about how come, as they did everything the church told them to, but they still could not find the happiness that other church members seemed to have. They really believed until they died (their deaths were more than 10 years apart) that if they just did as the church taught them that happiness would be theirs, but it just never worked out that way for them.

It was from observing my parents, and my Mormon siblings that I can to realize that the animal instinct to gather in groups and belong, are often stronger and have more influence in our behavior than a person's ability to reason or think rationally. Of course my studies and my BA in Sociology helped my thinking along in the right direction.

While my parents were alive, I did consider having a talk with them, but I decided that they believed themselves to be (mostly) happy, and my trying to change their beliefs would not make them happier.

Most of my nieces and nephews were raised Mormon, and I feel bad about how in many cases how it has (emotionally) damaged them. If they ever ask, I'll tell them what I think of the church, but I am not about to interfere between my siblings and their kids.

Anyway, I am glad my explanation helped you understand your Ex a little better.

I am a member of the Ex-Mormon group on this site. So, no I don't mind. I almost posted just to the group, but decided to make a general post instead. I think I identify more as a general atheist than an Ex-Mormon anymore.

@snytiger6 Thanks