I don't know if there is an unwritten rule among the Agnostic / Atheists of this region...but although there are many non-believers around (I always encounter one or two a week) they don't seem interested in joining a group.
I'm from ct. And hoping to find real friends .
Connecticut Valley Atheist Meetup, South Windsor
The Humanist Association of Connecticut, New Haven
Atheist Humanist Society of Connecticut and Rhode Island, Norwich
I'm not sure what you're asking here. Are you saying that there are no atheists or agnostics in New York or New Jersey? Cause here I am. I live in New York, work in New Jersey... and know people in both states. But nobody from Connecticut though. They all commute to the City.
My words: """" but although there are many non-believers around (I always encounter one or two a week) they don't seem interested in joining a group."""" IAW, the A/A from the states I mentioned RARELY form groups. When I visited Huntsville, Alabama...I share with their group....they were over 50 people at the coffee shop.
I think I understand though. In NY and NJ, just based on sheer population you're likely to run into a non-theist just about anywhere. And many of those who do have some form of "spirituality" tend to be far more open-minded about what they believe.
Alabama on the other hand, or any state in the South, doesn't have that. Almost everyone there is wrapped up in some sort of religion, and usually extreme at that, making it very difficult, and lonely for non-theists. It's safer for them to go online and seek out others, and they're more likely to meet others.
I used to belong to Westchester Atheists....The group was based in Chappaqua...it was a greatone but its original leader moved to California few years ago...and recently died. Other group (spin off) was created but some members were a little too arrogant and I left.
Lucky you, I live on a small island and there are two of us.
A couple of years ago I found out that on this island of 2,400 (permanent) residents there were 4 couples that were members of Freedom From Religion Foundation.
Please, tell me where are you located; there are many A/A groups around USA and I can find out for you. I wish we had more groups in NY.