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Online dating?

I'm on plenty of fish and have chatted with several fellows, met a couple but not met my soulmate yet. Unless you count one wonderful guy I met on this site who lives a state away from me. How likely is it I will meet a mate? Who has met their forever love online? I need some inspirational success stories.

confidentrealm 7 May 7
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24 comments

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7

I met one of the great loves of my life on the internet. It wasn't on a dating site, but on a listserve. The turning point was when she asked a question - and I responded. We started doing private discussions of issues and we started to find out how similarly we thought and how we had similar likings and dislikings. She lived over 2,000 miles away - she in the Bay Area, me in Hawai'i. Pretty soon we started really liking each other. She organized an activity that involved me - and provided an opportunity to meet. We liked each other in person - and we became special friends - which, a couple of years later, turned into the start of a great relationship. But, she decided to go her own way a little over a year ago. Adjusting to this has been hard, but I'm really starting to come around to this new reality. It was a great 13 year relationship. So - even though it ended in failure - the high points we experienced in the relationship in good times summate to be one of the great loves of my life. The question - Would I have missed something great if we had not gotten together to relate? is answered by - I would have missed one of the great opportunities and successes that I have ever participated in.

Thanks for the positive spin. I sometimes forget the good times out weigh the bad.

@mkeaman I love the way you phrase this! Very insightful

6

My mom and dad met in a yahoo chatroom. 18 years later still madly in love

Quite jealous

6

I’ve been on various dating sites for two years. Lots of chatting, some interesting dates, two short relationships, and one restraining order(against him, not me!).
Be prepared to weed, weed, weed. Then have fun, see where it goes.

5

You don't get STD's from a computer. I wear latex gloves just in case.

Better safe than sorry

5

It's a crapshoot. Keep your expectations realistic.

4

I think it's impossible to find a soulmate online -- I think it's impossible to find a soulmate, period. The operative word here is "find": if you're looking for something you may just pass it up, especially if you have expectations. The best thing is to meet up with people you feel some sort of connection with, get to know them, and see how it goes. No expectations, just be open to possibilities. Live and appreciate your life, be the best you that you can be, and two things will happen: you will better be able to discern the people who aren't right for you, and better able to recognize the people who are. And that's with all sorts of relationships. You may or may not meet your soulmate, but you'll meet some damn good people on the way, and who knows, one of them my just turn into something very special.

4

It's been a bust for me--one guy asked me if my computer had a camera and did my grand kids ever run around the house naked--lots of requests for money--one I finally met for coffee wanted to stay inside because there was a warrant out on him--it goes on and on--I am to the point where I am just going to get out there doing things I enjoy and hopefully meet someone that clicks--

I chatted online with four guys who appeared to be very nice and decent .... and all four of them asked me to loan money to them. Lots of scammers and predators out there.

3

In 2009 I met someone on Match and that relationship lasted until 2017. You have to persevere and be willing to deal with a lot of rejection (on both sides) and some bizarre individuals. Long distance is tricky but if you're willing to meet only on weekends, or meet at a halfway point then there is a chance it might work.

3

I met my husband of 25 years on the “Personals” as it was called back then! I know two people that just got married and met on POF. And my brother in law just got married after meeting on OurTime. And my ex is dating someone he met online! I’m on the sites but haven’t actually met anyone in person yet! But I would keep trying. Just be very discriminating

Norie Level 5 May 8, 2018
3

Depends on how you define soulmate, if you actually believe in such a thing, how willing you are to compromise and so forth.

3

I have a discouraging story?

Lol, I have a few of those, myself.

2

I met my girlfriend on Tinder. We're going on 4 years together now. A good friend of mine also met his wife on it.

When I was single I didn't have any luck on POF. I think that the issue is that it's free, so there are a lot of people on the site who aren't very serious about meeting someone. Also there was a lot of computer bots.

Isn't Tinder a free site as well?

@dkp93 it is, but when I was using it 4 years ago there weren't really any bots on it yet

@ScubaWags They're all full of bots, fakes and scammers now. And weirdos. Sooo many weirdos.

2

Sorry no success with on-line dating from me. On-line dating can be difficult. In the past I went to singles dances, and met my wife at one. Search the Internet to see if there are any singles dances in your area. Looking at one photo of the person and deciding whether to chat with them, or date is really hard. When you meet someone in person, you see the way they walk, talk, and their personality comes out. I think in the future on-line dating with have people record messages and you will get a better feel if the person is someone you want to meet and date.

ebdb Level 7 May 8, 2018
2

I got nothin' here.

2

Hoping to read some inspirational stories....I have none

@germangirl90439 Ditto ditto. Lol.

1

Long distant relationships are almost always doomed to failure.

Define failure. I have a couple of chat friends I've never met but have chatted with one in particular since 2001. It's great. Maybe some day we will meet but for now we are friends and live it.

I hear you, Guy.A Turkish-born chick from Chicago tried to scam me into getting her a iTunes card and that she pretended she was coming over to Pittsburgh and be with me-that never happened!

@confidentrealm Chat friends are one thing, relationships are another.

1

I tried to meet some girls online but all they do is ask for money,play games, lie. Recently a chick in Russia pretended she was in love with me and physically wanted to meet me in person-never happened-thanks to a lie she made about a 'banking crisis'in her .

I have tried a couple of online dating sites. I had not just one but FOUR guys ask to borrow money! I would imagine that there are lots of female scammers too. Some folks meet friends and spouses using online dating. Others have negative experiences. One of my college friends met 20 guys who were wrong for her, then finally met a guy she became good friends with. So, some have good experiences and then others ........

1

As in religiosity, I do not believe the whole soul mate idea for most people. Yes it does happen, but it is the exception. A 13 year relationship is not a failure. It is a 13 year relationship. A sucess for that time. Tho pursuing a forever bond may be admirable in our romantic, Hollywood infused society, hormones & phermones ebb & flo, making change the only constant. For those who suceed in this endeavor, kudos. But for the majority of us the concept is present, but realizing it is elusive.

1

Yeah, no luck with the online strategy. Patiently waiting for something to develop more organically with someone I already know. After 6 years doubting anything will ever develop, but who knows...

1

I tried an on-line dating site a while back.It kept matching me with gentlemen in Australia even though I'd indicated a preference for matches within 50 miles of where Iive.

I don't think any of the online sites do that right. I set mine for 25 miles and always get matches WAY outside that.

@Frctnal Maybe the men from away are better or more desperate? LOL

1

Oh hell no! 2 bad bf's from online dating. Never again will I date online. Fuck that shit! Steer clear. Shawn met me online then gave me herpes. Be careful. My 2nd ex was was a sex offender and hid it from me.

Too bad all of us arent assholes with herpes, just sayin"

0

All I see is posts, comments about my bio seeking to meet someone local to Pittsburgh but not a direct response via message box; sometimes I get nothing but a brief peep at my bio but it seems like it's being laughed at.

0

Pretty worthless anymore, conversations hardly happen, forget coming close to meeting anyone in real life.

Pretty sure she was looking for inspirational stories. Comments like this aren't helping.

I thought religion was about building false hope, so sorry if my slice of reality is non productive.

@GregGasiorowski I'm sorry you feel negative. Did you have a bad experience?

Just to many false starts that went nowhere, at this point it's hard to get anything started when the ratio is like 100 to one & most women treat response as an understandable burden.

0

None on my end I'm afraid, never dated online.

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