So far I have told them I'm a witch, and I've told them I wasn't able to talk right now, could we please reschedule because the coven was meeting at my house that night & I had to go get the sacrificial goat. I've also pointed out my property is posted & they were trespassing & they could leave or I'd be calling the police. I've told them we only discuss religion naked so come in & strip off & start taking off my shirt or pants ehile walking away from the door.

They don't come to my house anymore.

I was a jehovah's witness growing up, the dirty secret to keep the jw's away is to answer the door, tell them to please never knock on your door again. If the JW does what he's supposed to he'll record your address as DNR (Do Not Return) on their territory slip. If not, you can contact the closest JW Kingdom Hall (google will give u a phone #) and tell them to not knock on your door.

Usually people won't answer the door. Reason they come back.

The former owners of my house were Mormon. I had 2 sweet missionaries show up just after I poured myself a glass of wine. Feeling generous, I invited them in for a glass of water or to use the restroom. They took me up on it. I had a nice discussion about Colorado while drinking my wine and watching the girls drink water.
They haven’t shown up again.
(I blame r/exmormom on Reddit for being so nice to these ladies. I REALLY wanted to tell them what I knew about Joseph Smith but being kind to these young women, showing them that I’m successful, can do whatever I please without judgment, and can enjoy a glass of wine without fear of going to hell is almost as good. I figure if they do real research on their church, they’ll figure out that their base was created by a pedophile without my help. I think it was better that I showed them a heathen can be a nice human.)

I greet them at the door in the nude and invite them in.

id like to tell them to fuck off as I don't knock on their doors trying to give them advice but I just say I'm not interested. oh and this sculpture helps keep them away too lol.

If I am busy I don't answer it. But I am curious so have invited them in. I like to understand how people think and find it interesting. One summer I was on leave had moved to the Keys and was outside refinishing our furniture. Jehovah witnesses came every 3 or 4 weeks. I offered them a cold drink and asked them about their beliefs and answered any questions. I enjoyed their visits and got if I believed what they did I would be doing the same. But I don't believe the same.

I don’t answer my door, especially if I’m not expecting anyone. Eventually they go away. I haven’t talked to one of those in many years. Last time I just said ‘thanks for your concern’ and shut & locked the door.

close the door

With a single sentence, I confuse and repel them. While they puzzle, I say goodbye and shut the door. It amuses me to declare:

"I don't believe in an invisible being that resides somewhere beyond the clouds."

"We are ALL atheists here," grandly waving to include the entire neighborhood.

"I stopped having imaginary friends at age four."

I put a sign on my front door that says "No peddlers! No proselytists!" It keeps them at bay.

I tell them no thanks and politely ask them to leave. They mean no harm and I have no reason to hate them for their misunderstanding.

I offer them home-baked cookies. They always say no and rarely come back

Ask them to leave.

I generally just tell them I don't believe in that sort of thing, but my neighbor sure does.

I tell thin that my house is pagan and they just run away

I hate being disturbed at hope, it is intrusive, and rude. I don't answer the door.

Come on in I would like to share the true facts of science with you verses your make believe world.

I tell them that religion is a private affair... if they press further, I tell them imma devil worshiper and I need a human sacrifice .... hail Satan ! They usually leave then.... lol

I tell them I do not have religious beliefs, never read a bible, and don't believe any of that crap they want to preach to you. They don't come back again, they figure I'm a lost cause and that's just fine with me.

Thank you everyone for the great ideas I'll certainly be using them.