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A simple question

So, do women ever make the first move and message someone on this site for the express purpose of showing interest in someone?

For example: "Hi there! Saw your profile and found it very interesting. We seem to have a lot in common. You seem like someone I'd like to get to know better. Does that sound like something you would be interested in as well?"

Ladies, feel free to use that example as a template for your future endeavors... lol

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Kafirah 8 May 20
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13 comments

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1

Yes I have made the 1st move (Many times).

However, because of the current condition of my meat sack I am not approaching anyone with - - - friend kind of stuff ---- right now.

And I'm kind of busy saving myself to get involved with someone. I don't have a lot of time.

I'm sorry to hear that. So very sorry. What is it, may I ask?

@Kafir stage 4 cancer and I live in America.

2

I consider myself to be somewhat forward and assertive, so I have no problems making the first move.

1

I have here and on regular dating sites. It was really difficult for me at first but then I joined Bumble and women have to make initial contact, men cannot. That got me more confident in making the first move.

Bumble, you say... Hmm... Note to Self: Self, take notes.

@Kafir what I don't like about Bumble is you only get to write a short paragraph for a bio. So it's hard to get across what you're about or to read what someone else is into. Accidentally conversed with someone for a week, we were working on setting up a place to meet when I discovered he's hard core conservative. I have right in my profile that I'm a liberal atheist, but clearly he didn't read it. Now I ask better questions, lol.

1

I have had conversations with very interesting ladies on the site regardless of who made 1st contact. The world is vast through, the tyranny of distance and all.

2

I've sent several messages and seldom get replies back. I mostly contact people based on one of their posts or replies intriguing me, seeking interesting conversation.

I understand that many using online access for screening dating prospects do so mostly based on photos that they find attractive. Attempts at casual (nonromantic or nonsexual?) conversations are therefore a waste of time for them. I don't take it personally.

Zster Level 8 May 20, 2018
1

I've sent several messages and seldom get replies back. I mostly contact people based on one of their posts or replies intriguing me, seeking interesting conversation.

I understand that many using online access for screening dating prospects do so mostly based on photos that they find attractive. Attempts at casual (nonromantic or nonsexual?) conversations are therefore a waste of time for them. I don't take it personally.

Zster Level 8 May 20, 2018
2

I would do it after interacting on the site for a while, not just from a profile

Someone's picture popped up on my main page as being new and local. I try not to judge solely on looks, but he was really good looking! I checked out his profile and we seemed to have similar interests so I messaged him. I didn't hear back but I hope at the very least he was flattered that someone showed some interest.

@Marcie1974 I totally get that. There is a beautiful woman on my page that is a 99% match for my interests, lives just over a half hour away... She joined the 13th, made a couple posts on the 14th, and hasn't been back since. I assume... Either way, I've yet to receive a response to my message I sent her... I mean, a 99% match... That's like... Fate or something... lol

@Kafir I messaged someone local twice. Local here is rare. Both times he just said "I don't know what to do next"

@btroje huh? "Um... You ask for my number and we talk some more, moron." lol that's what I'd try to get across to them... Maybe without the moron part... lol

@Kafir I almost think it was just a trick He had a pic and a profile but no other posts

@btroje that sucks. Sorry to hear that.

@Kafir didnt bother me. i thought it was stupid

2

I'm here for the community, not for dating.

1

I don't message because l can't get into my messages and the site hasn't been able to correct the problem. Apparently l can send, but what is the point.

Have you tried emailing admin? I know a few on here that can probably help.

@Kafir 5 or 6 times. They do whatever they do, but no results. I am thinking about leaving the site.

@Sticks48 no way. Don't do that. There's a singles chat with a great bunch of people ever night at 6pm est, but we rarely try to hookup there... LOL. But if you are interested in community, this site is amazing. Let me see if I can get someone who has the admins ear to help speed the process along...

@ProudMerry Yes, but l am so close to getting the t-shirt. ?

@ProudMerry ?

1

I’ve been messaging people. I’ve only been here a week but I’m messaging people. There just aren’t a lot of people in my age bracket with similar interests within a reasonable distance. Being lonely is making me want to move back to Chicago where there are more folks to meet - I’m not everyone’s cup of tea for sure.

That is really frustrating. It's that "reasonable distance" part that sucks the most. The age thing isn't a huge obstacle for me and others like me, but that distance problem... That's a tough one. I feel you. I really do. Not in that way. We just met. lol

3

I would love full equality, where women can ask men out on dates etc etc. I don't see a problem with it.

The problem lies with a proportion of men who view such women in an unfavourable light, often categorising them as being 'aggressive' or 'dominant' or 'alpha female' types. It's a no win situation.

Ah. Those guys... Well, in my opinion, everyone's probably better off without those guys anyway. I think of it more like a part of a subconscious selection process. Insecurity that can't handle a strong woman isn't worth trying to keep, lol

2

Hey there big boy. 😉

I am so flattered right now ?

5

Opportunity usually knocks once. Take the chance and see what happens.

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