So. This is my first divorce. From a narcissist. From a man who cheated on me. From a man I believed in when no one else did. It came as a surprise. If you had to go through a divorce, how long did it take you to tame some of the emotional spikes that happen? They are getting less frequent and less severe as my self esteem builds. The literature says 6 months to a year till you feel relatively grounded? Does that seem right? When does most of what you feel turns into indifference?
8
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28 comments (26 - 28)
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.That indifference bit may never go away. It can be ignored and forgotten about but sometime something will remind you and it will piss you off all over again but that feeling will go away quickly once you get away from the thing that triggered it.
Anonbene
Level 8
May 23, 2018
1
One thing I want to say is don't ever blame the other woman. It was entirely your husband's choice/ fault. He could have said no. I HATE it when women say 'she broke up my marriage, 'she chased/seduced my husband' while the man sits back & sighs 'I couldn't help myself - she came on to me' . It's all him. She did you a favour.
GoldenDoll
Level 7
May 25, 2018
0
@onlyduh Sorry but still no. He made the choice to betray you. He was the one in a supposedly committed relationship. If it wasn't her, it would have been someone else. You can't blame all the women in the world. He is the constant in this, she is just the variable. If you make it me & them, you increase your pain. Me & him is more straightforward. And he'll probably do the same to her in time. She didn't get anthing of value. I pity her. Reason I'm saying this is because if you look at it this way, it immediately halves the resentment, pain, anger etc so you have less to deal with. I'm on your side.
@onlyduh Not forgiveness. Just indifference. I wish you well. X
@onlyduh - Great! First one left me to become "a full time worker for god", second one addled his brain so much with alcohol he didn't know who I was! Can't wait for the chat room!
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