Both funny and sad as there are serious health benefits to staying active.
Reminds me of three points:
#1: If memory serves: Jane Goodall observed and recorded young chimpanzees who masturbated as juveniles were significantly more active and capable of sexually functioning (fucking) then the juveniles who did not masturbate. She also recorded most/many? (been years) juveniles who did not masturbate were were often not capable of performing.
#2 Webmd reports "April 6, 2004 -- Frequent ejaculation, whether it happens during sexual intercourse, masturbation, or a dream, isn't likely to increase men's risk of prostate cancer. In fact, new research suggests it may have the opposite effect and help protect the prostate." and "Men who ejaculated most often actually had a 33% lower lifetime risk of prostate cancer, and this relationship grew stronger as men grew older."
#3 Use It or Lose It . . The Importance of Strength Training. . . Lots of links
Brings to mind several stories told to me by women who interacted with god fearing Catholic men (no yanking allowed) and being disappointed as the men developed erectile dysfunction early on in their lives. I wonder if there is a correlation?
To maintain health, strength and stamina, I believe in an extended exercise routine.