The Watering hole

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New here! I’m kind of a closeted atheist with some family and friends. Especially around older folks. They’re always saying “I’ll pray for you!” Or “God bless you!” And I hate to be rude, so I say thank you. Anyone else have this problem where they feel obligated to be polite to believers?

sagan4tw 3 Sep 17
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I usually let it ride . . Say thanks but with no emotion usually leaves the puzzled because its not the one they expected.


Well.. it's just good to be polite to family, friends, old folk.. anyone really. But I think the bigger issue for me would be that the people I am dealing with don't really know me if I am not being honest with them.

I thank them for their concern but frequently say something like, "Your god must be pleased with your thoughtfulness." I have found that religious people like to have their devotion acknowledged. This makes it easier for them to accept my non devotion.

Davekp Level 8 Oct 5, 2018

Sure. I usually say - do not outsource the blessing.

zesty Level 7 Oct 2, 2018

You raise an interesting point. You are a closet atheist Just imagine how many like you are out there and think: "Why do I have to pretend?" I am convinced that many "believers“ are just believers of convenience.
A few years back I had to think about secret ballots. Since my first vote I was suspicious of the practice. Unless there is really danger for one's life etc. they should be open. And the principle applied to more facets of life.
Nowadays we are told about privacy and even friends would be reluctant to give out other friends' phone numbers. Yet I still remember time when phone numbers were listed in public phone books.
Sorry ... going off on a tangent.
I hope you can become brave enough to liberate yourself without too much drama. Good luck!


Oh hey🙂 yah it's always an interesting one, the good intent that's almost annoying at the same time haha- I feel ya

Timur Level 2 Sep 18, 2018

I keep my beliefs to myself and am not much of a confrontational person--up to a point. I've been know to verbally lash out at Christian do-gooders. It sure makes me feel good and leaves them totally surprise.

ADKSparky Level 7 Sep 18, 2018

I’ve always figured that when people say those things, it’s generally intended out of kindness. They don’t know what else to do and so fall back on what they know. I’ve never felt the need to pick a fight unnecessarily. I generally prefer to avoid confrontation when possible.


Same situation here. I do it mostly to keep the peace and be polite. Especially if I'm in their home.

Welcome and enjoy the community.

Hastur Level 8 Sep 18, 2018

My family knows where I am standing and my friends too . Only ways they will ever say something like this to me will be for a joke ??.
Random people , depends my mood , but mostly I don't bother anymore . Just smiling . ?

Pralina1 Level 8 Sep 18, 2018

I will always be polite when the other person is being polite to me. I don't care what words they use, the intent is there. If instead they are wanting to change me, then I have no desire nor obligation to be polite.

Nukdookum Level 8 Sep 18, 2018

Not so much, I usually say don't bother

zorialoki Level 8 Sep 17, 2018

I still say bless you when someone sneezes. Old habit. If someone says "I'll pray for you", it depends who it is. If it is someone I care about and I don't want to offend them, then I just keep my mouth shut. But it is sometimes hard to hide the eye roll. I don't think there is anything wrong with being a polite atheist, in the right situations. I just figure they are doing it for their benefit, not mine, and I respect their beliefs. The one that I hate the most though is in a time of grieving, when someone says "it was god's plan" or "they are in a better place". Really? They are better off now that they are dead then when they were here with family? That one is just offensive.

mikecagain Level 7 Sep 17, 2018

Totally agree — especially when it’s a young mom with little children. Yeah, god had something more important for her to do? Like hell he did!


I just say..... " If you must."

nvrnuff Level 8 Sep 17, 2018

no problem

TheDoubter Level 9 Sep 17, 2018
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