This fellow was standing on a street corner shouting "I am Jesus Christ" over and over again. Finally a man stopped and told him he did not believe that. The fellow said "I can prove it...follow me." The man followed him until they finally entered a pub. The fellow approached the bar and shouted "Bartender, bring me a beer!" The bartender turned around and exclaimed "Jesus Christ! Are you back again!"
Jesus walks in to a Bar in the poor end of town.
He sees a man suffering a skin condition walks over to him and "pow" healed.
Thank you Lord cries the man
Jesus sees another man who is blind, "Pow" Jesus heals him.
Thank you Lord cries the man
Then Jesus sees a man in a wheelchair, as Jesus approaches the man raises his fist
"Keep away from me you liberal do gooding bastard!" he yells
"What is wrong my son?" asks Jesus
"Took me four years to get on disability benefit," he cried."And you're not fucking it up for me!"