Darlin', how can l miss you if you don't leave?

How about

I'm whining this song cuz I'm a tough guy...

Or
"why are all those tough cowboys such whiny bitches?"

(Could even work as country western Rap song)

"I don't give a fuck about you and your big white truck!"

"Country Girls Turn Into Cuntry Girls"

OH MY ?

Or how about
"Why are big white truck drivers such BIG DICKS?"

Mine would be

"if cowboys (singers) are all so TOUGH then why are they all such a bunch of whiners?"

In Navy Bootcamp there was a Country Boy in my Company. 38 years later I still remember his last name Crawford. Truckdriver that his girlfriend cheated on him. So he joined the Navy. Didn't wanted to be on the Navy after all. Over a decade later I wrote my first CW song... "WHAT IS DOING A TRUCK DRIVER IN THE NAVY?". On his honor. I gave the lyrics to a shipmate. Only lines I remember....
What is a truck driver doing in the Navy?
There is no highways in the seas
Do not mistake waves for damn hills
Because of she...
such a shame you came to be
In every port drop your load...
but not your seed
He got kicked out for multiple attempts to escape before graduation. He knew the layout of the base and was a constant flight risk. Maybe one day I re-do it along with about 3,000 other songs I let them be. Yep I am a Puertorrican and I rather listen to Country than to hip-hop.

A couple of days ago the phrase "A Left-Handed Right Hand Man" popped into my head. I think it would be a great title for something.