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A letter to... my gas-lighting ex

[theguardian.com]

Jnei 8 June 9
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9 comments

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2

Yes, sadly most (not all) human communication is built on lies. Most advertising is based on a lie softened just enough to convince you to buy their product. People lie to their children on a daily basis be it about Santa or the Tooth Fairy or the Easter Bunny. You tell your children that maybe you'll do something they like when you know you won't or that grandma is in 'heaven' when in fact she's just in a box or an urn. We rationalize it to ourselves one way or another to justify the lie and sometimes the lie is almost justified, but it is a lie nonetheless. We lie on our resumes to make us look better to potential employers and lie when we write a performance report on a subordinate; 'needs improvement' means you really suck at something, 'outstanding performance' equals 'you didn't fuck it up'.

Wrytyr Level 7 June 10, 2018
1

Most human communication is built on lies??? I hope not. Horrible these happenings to you, Jnei. We have all experienced manipulation, some worse than others. And yes it does affect ones own consciousness. Sometimes the damage will alter the coarse of lives. I agree.... i understand. Yes.. learned behavior, the spirit(consciousness) can be broken, unless they are degenerate. My only pause, is to say its hard for me to believe that most human communication is built on lies. I understand how lies can destroy the very foundation of a relationship, a familial home. I am gulible, this is true. I am easily manipulated. I have not found in my life that most human communication is built on lies. Maybe lies exist more in lower conscious beings who do not have honor or respect.

Etre Level 7 June 9, 2018
5

Gas lighting is the most horrendous emotional torture I've ever been through. Boss's can do that to a person too.

Oh yes, a lot of bosses do it constantly.

6

Gaslighting is such an awful form of abuse. It really tears apart your confidence and ability to trust.

5

That's a great letter.

I've said it a thousand times - cheats are bastards. They are selfish children who spoil both the past and the future.

4

I've seen this be a coping mechanism for entire families... sigh

2

Gas lighting?

gater Level 7 June 9, 2018

[en.wikipedia.org]

7

Once a gaslighter, always a gaslighter?

That's an interesting question. I like to think that, with a concerted effort, anyone can overcome learned behaviour once they recognise that it's bad - but I suspect the tendency to gaslight is so deeply ingrained that in many cases it might not be possible.

7

=[ Thanks for sharing.

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