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As we grow older is a persons looks as important to you, or is their ability to connect with you on intellectual grounds of greater importance? And what are some real deal breakers a guy can make on a first date, that won't get him a second?

solitude1457 4 June 12
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0

I want my cake and I want to eat it too. I don't require typically "sexiest man of the year" looks, but I don't want to be offput by somebody I look at every day, from all angles. 🙂

Among the common deal breakers, and the usual which many of us have answered in countless threads, off the top of my head, I'll throw bragging out there. Talking too much about what you have, what you make, how much money something costs, all your accomplishments, the powerful roles you've been in, who you know, achievements, etc.

1

I guess I'm a little different than most of the people who have already posted. I do think that looks get less important as we age. Let's face it, we ARE going to look different as we age. I don't mean that we shouldn't make an effort, but there are more medical conditions and disabilities that occur. I have always found intellect and a good, quick sense of humor more attractive than appearance, anyway. Real first date deal breakers: poor manners, paying attention their phone (if there is the potential for an emergency call he has to act on, I'd like to know in advance, otherwise, I don't want to see the phone and he won't see mine); complaining about an ex or women in general; not being sufficiently in touch with the world to have a good conversation.

0

No.

🙂

morlll Level 7 June 13, 2018
1

Depends. Looks are important, yes. It's the first thing we notice about someone. However, a man that is not that attractive can instantly become drop dead gorgeous if he is confident and has a good personality. An attractive man can instantly become hideous if his personality is dry or he's not a good person.

I think the thing that bothered me the most on one date... this guy looked at his phone way too much. It seriously bothered me. He had the nerve to say the date went well.

I could not agree with you more.

1

Yes looks are important... but... beauty being in the eye of...
I find one's age, height, weight, teeth, smile, intelligence, grammar, lack of tattoos, are all qualities of, or lack of beauty. Some men find tattoos appealing, I don't, some women find men with tattoos, beard, mustache attractive, some don't... again... the eye of...
Courtesy was once common, today, not so much... anyone that would get drunk on a first, third, fifth date is pretty darn ignorant. Expecting sex on first few dates is assuming quite a lot, if sex occurs early on in dating, that's wonderful but shouldn't be an expectation.
We all have history... sharing too much can be hazardous, where to draw the line...???

Tomas Level 7 June 13, 2018
0

I need beauty and brains ! There is a lot of them out there !

Are.

@morlll
Sorry, you are right.

0

Deep intellectual capacity is far more important than looks are.

4

Through online dating, I have met 80-100 men. My deal breakers:

  1. Lied about his age, weight and/or height on his dating profile.

  2. Badly overweight and out of shape.

  3. Poor conversational skills. Quiet and socially awkward. It's boring to provide all of the conversational topics and humor.

  4. Poor dental hygiene, nasty tartar, badly crooked, missing or broken teeth, and/or breath that stank of rotten meat. Ugh. I can't imagine kissing that.

  5. Talks negatively about his ex-wife. Moans about his sad life.

  6. Rude or unkind. Gets drunk on the first date.

  7. Expects sex on the first date.

  8. Lied about being a hiker. This happens a lot. Turns out they last hiked in the Army at age 18 or in their 20s. If men haven't been regularly exercising, hiking or eating right for 40 years, they're not going to change now.

Shared recreational activities are a bonding experience. That's why I want a man who still loves hiking.

Well I guess I'm out then.

With regard to your 1. -- I agree -- and I have a zero tolerance policy on lying. One lie about anything (not counting the tiniest of white lies such as to make your ol' Aunt Harriet feel good about her new dress) and you're out. To me, it shows lack of integrity and integrity is paramount to me.

1

I think as we mature we gain depth. We understand the many things that matter in a relationship beyond just looks.

People have lists of deal breakers and every one is different than the other person's. Sadly, the more deal breakers one has the more they reduce their chances of finding someone who fits their demands.

0

As I grow older, looks are just as important to me now as they were 50 years ago. The physical looks have to be appealing to me before I can get interested in the intellectual similarities. Personality comes next in importance to me. Then it's time to get to all the rest.

5

Mostly just want someone who’s nice to me and thinks I’m awesome.
First date dealbreakers: bad hygiene, being rude to the staff, racism/misogyny. There’s definitely more!

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