Have you heard about the red and white corpuscles who loved in vein?

Hahaha! My favorite insult ( which people hardly ever get...making it even funnier is this "Your taste is only in your mouth!" heehee!

Man takes a taxi to the airport. Taxi driver asks, “ Where you flying to?” Man says, “Boston.” Taxi driver exclaims that he’s never been to Boston but was eager to go someday.

Man gets back from Boston, hails a cab and by chance, it’s the same taxi driver. The taxi driver recognized the man and says, “Hey. I remembr you. You must have just gotten back from Boston””. Why, yes, says the man, “That’s me.”

“Tell me”. Says the taxi driver, “What did you like best about your trip?”

Man says, “Why, having bean scrod, I think.”

The taxi driver mulls that over a bit and says, “You know, that’s the first time I’ve ever heard that activity put in the past pluperfect.”

Guy comes up to me and says he's going to dress up as an island off Italy. I tell him not to be Sicily.

In discussing alternate fuels one person suggests herbs to power vehicles. After all, Mussolini made the trains run on thyme.

I have a friend who fell into an upholstery machine. He's fully recovered.
His brother fell into a glass grinding machine. He made a spectacle of himself.

I like Limericks more than puns. Loved Robert Shaws delivery of this one in Jaws ...

Here lies the body of Mary Lee; died at the age of a hundred and three. For fifteen years she kept her viginity; not a bad record for this vicinity.

??

That's bad...