Ugh, so tired of people using the word "friendzoned". Why use it if your end game wasn't exactly friendship, but sex or a relationship? What wrong with being a friend to this person first? Makes you sound disingenuous and with an agenda. Men nor women owe a guy or girl a relationship because they made the conscious decision to stick around to be an emotional tampon. I had that mindset once upon a time, then I grew the fuck up; I realized if I really cared about said person I could be a friend without expectation because that's what caring about a person you allegedly "love" entails. Too many people out there to date for a person to get hungup on someone. Know what I mean? Sorry, had to get it off my chest. I'm donning my flak jacket right now lol
7
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.Nobody owes anyone in this situation but that doesn't mean that being friendzoned is just OK.
The issue is when you feel like you want more than friends and someone doesn't. It hurts. It's lonlier than being alone. Especially, if you know that if there was someone that they wanted to be be with there would be no friendzone. That's full of a sense of hopelessness and inadequacy. So you are in a place of constant hurt. If you are a glutton (emotional tampon) you can stay friends but if not there are two ways out. First, just move on. Put them out of your mind and life. Obvi. 2nd you change your mind and make them friends in your eyes. But it does mean that in your mind you have no intent on pursuing them. Otherwise, tampon.
CK-One
Level 6
June 17, 2018
2
I had to look up the word, "friend zoned." hahahaha So funny. People seem to have such fragile egos that if a potential lover wants to be a friend, they take it personally, put the word "just" in front of friend like it's less than, and invent a new word for it. My for those with such fragile egos is to see a competent therapist or counsellor. Otherwise you have a tough life ahead of you.
I'm not being critical, judgmental, or ironic, ego is healthy when in balance, but unhealthy when it beats you up.
josephr
Level 7
June 17, 2018
1
Ladies, I think that you can assume that any unrelated man who is being especially nice to you wants to sleep with you. If you are sure that you don't want that, please let him know so he can give his attentions to some other woman, if that is what he prefers to do. It is certainly OK to say no, but don't accept favors and gifts from a man you already know you don't want.
doug6352
Level 7
June 17, 2018
1
I already have plenty of buddies to hang out with, drink beer and catch a ball game. So unless a woman is friend zoning me and wants to hang out with a bunch of belching, farting, obnoxious dudes who are probably doing a bunch of things they have little to no interest in, they're wasting both of our time.
I sure as hell won't be hanging out at the mall with someone and watching them try on shoes or sitting around listening to them engage in a bunch of girly talk with their friends unless I'm sleeping with them. That's an allotment a woman only gets on occasion if we're more than just friends.
There is absolutely zero benefit to being friend zoned for the one who is being placed in that category. This goes for both men and women. Everything always winds up being about the one who is doing the friend zoneing. There is no give and take. One person does all of the giving and the other does all of the taking and goals for the relationship do not match.
The OP mentions having an agenda when it comes to entering in to relationships with others. People always have an agenda when they enter in to any type of relationship with another person. The question is always, does your agenda match mine? If so, then there is the potential for a relationship which can work. If not, then it's best to simply move on.
webbew1
Level 7
June 17, 2018
2
???
Cool! If you're into drinking a few beers, eating some barbeque and watching some football or baseball (or what ever happens to be on the boob tube at any given moment), then feel free to come hang out with us on Saturday nights if you're ever in Colorado. We jam on some karaoke, catch a few games and have some fun.
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