Great words much gratitude ?

Great words much gratitude ?

Well, that sheds some light on why so few women are wasting time on me.

My take is that we all should enter into any relationship with mutual respect, whether it's as associates, friends, or something more intimate - don't try to change me, and I won't try to change you; you are either a good fit, or your not - it really doesn't have to be complicated.

I prefer a strong woman, someone that knows who she is, and shares my humanist/atheist values, someone that shares my dark sense of humor, similar tastes in music and entertainment; doesn't take offense when I want to be alone, and I grant her the same consideration. I love intelligent women, I wouldn't have it any other way.

To me it's about mutuality, we can agree to go to what ever level we decide, together. Most rational people would prefer not to be with an asshole, regardless of gender.

Why the emphasis on women? Strong people are vital. By saying women specifically, it implies that women typically aren't strong and we have to start developing this unicorn called a strong woman. There are plenty of strong women around and, while they don't waste time with people that lack self awareness, they don't isolate themselves under the delusion that they will be happier in some emotional island. Human beings are social by nature. Being strong also means being honest.

Strong men are needed, too. Strong men give space for strong women and men and don't try to always be the center of attention. This is a quality of strong people (why this emphasis on reproductive capacity in terms of character?). Strong people are honest, tenacious, appreciative, kind, and vulnerable when appropriate. They hold each other up and realize that they aren't islands unto themselves. Rather, they value civilization and know that anyone that has any success only has it because someone at some time loved them. They know that they'll need to love as well in order to help grow civility in the world. Obviously, they won't waste themselves on unrealized people, but they won't deny the truth of things in order to forward a shortsighted pseudo-stoic ego centered behavior that was once the primary domain of men.

While the intention is good, I find many of the concepts expressed here sexist, antisocial, delusional, and stultifying. It is superficial in its description and comprehension of strength in character. While I agree that, to quote Krishnamurti, "you must be a light unto yourself" and not wait for someone to rescue you, a free person is a studious and disciplined person. In actuality, freedom extends out from devotion to the greater good - freedom comes from compassion because compassion informs us on what others need and tells us that we are limited as individuals in our own resources. These two facts balance and from that we can discern when being around someone is building civilization versus when we are inabling emotional atrophy. But this is a very complex idea that requires insight, patience, honesty, and sincerity. It doesn't have the fist pounding "yeah, fuck those guys!" righteous tone that people in pain enjoy as it numbs them from their dysfunction. The truth, in this case, is actually knowing what love is as well as compassion and not getting that confused with the thinly veiled vanity of martyring yourself for an unrealized person. While the truth doesn't have the intoxicating feeling of righteousness, it does has a feeling and beauty of its own. It is one that sustains itself and others like a good and simple meal capable of feeding your soul.

... just some of my thoughts.

Agreed

Just throwing this out there: Being a strong, free woman often means being alone. A lot of men find us too intimidating. Now, does that mean I'd rather put up with an asshole than be alone? Of course not. I've earned my crone status, and I'm not squandering the lessons that got me here.

The trick is to recognize them early on. My problem has been I get too involved before I find out they are asshole.

You usually have to learn the hard way to avoid the assholes. My experience is--the painful lessons are most valuable.

Been free since 1982. A couple lapses but hey I’m human. The lapses didn’t last long thank goodness.

I'm getting stronger and wiser every day!

This works for both genders.

Nice article.
I don't know that I would call myself "strong", but I do know that I have no inclination to waste my time being with assholes.
There isn't anything wrong with enjoying my own company as opposed to being around anyone who doesn't appreciate being with me.

I agree but we could have our moments too ?