Great post. As far as I can tell there are two options. I can let my “monkey mind” lead me on this merry chase for the rest of my days, or I can invest time in building the skill that tames that thing. The former might not be horrible, but the latter might lead to permanent, irreversible, effortless bliss.
Check us out down at the Dharma Cafe. We’re serving veggieburgers today; just walk in and say “Make me one with everything!”

[agnostic.com]

Without trying to judge you, your sound deeply depressed and in need of therapy. When I was 50, I was still deeply involved in meaningful work and had no thoughts of death.

At age 81, and with my career and many of the things I used to enjoy behind me, I find joy in the little things of life, and I still have goals, though short-term ones. I do not fear death, but view it as an old friend waiting in the wings who will step forth when the time comes.

Find a way to focus on living, not dying. Your time will come. Don't hasten it.

I am in my late 50’s and yes it does pop into my mind once in a while. I don’t regret the past or wish to go back. I am content with my life right now. How I got to this point is by not dwelling on the past or on the future but live today, in the here and now. When we focus on either the past or future we piss on today. So today I chose to put both feet into today and enjoy today cuz tomorrow may not come, I could die at any moment just like us all.

We here at the Really Real Association of Real Psychics* International Brother and Sisterhood have some really good and some kinda bad news for you.

The good news is you are going to live for another 40 years.

The kinda bad news is because you did decide to go to work tomorrow at a place you don't belong in the first place and you are staring at your phone looking for responses to this posting and not paying attention to traffic you are going to get hit by one of those electric self driving cars and get smashed to bits. You'll be kind of famous for 15 minutes as you will be the only guy ever to be hit by an autonomous car with no one in it that drove right over you and kept on going.
Broken bones and blood just everywhere. You'll be something like the original Captain on Star Trek. That guy in a machine that rolls around and can only flash a tiny light when asked a question but no one can figure out if the light is a yes or a no because we didn't set that kind of thing up before hand. I mean really who would walk out in front of a car? You can't speak or eat so you'll be fed through one of those tubes that stick out a hole in your chest and another two tubes will empty your stuff into something. My psychic eye can't exactly see what your draining into or on to. Might just be the floor. You'll see and hear and know everything that's going on and your wife will assume it's ok with you if she bangs Brad and Dave from the office at the same time right in front of you so as a devoted wife she can keep an eye on you to make sure you're ok. She's a dear isn't she?

I know what you're thinking now.
Mary Margaret O'Sullivan! you always told me that was an exit not an entrance apparently that was a lie along with that not swallowing bit. You bitch!

But remember. On the bright side you won't die for another 40 years. ?

• it might be physics or psychics we're not sure of the spelling yet.

Thinking about this stuff absolutely detracts from living the life you have NOW.
You're pondering things you aren't likely to ever have exact answers to, unless and until, they actually happen.
You're wasting time.
It's absolutely yours to waste, if that's what you want to do, but you're wasting time.

Change your thinking. You can take control.